Good old customers
Working in a call centre I get no end of idiots on the other end of the line. Our chosen speciality is Fraud (stopping it, not perpetrating it).

Recently, as some of you lot will probably know, there has been a propensity for a pop up to appear on the toolbar asking you to upgrade your anti-virus software otherwise xy and z will happen, as detailed on this link.

www.fife.gov.uk/news/index.cfm?fuseaction=news.display&objectid=FF9BF953-984A-D737-2FADB57C499D5050

This is one of the most obvious scams, but so far I have dealt with about 500 of these cases. When people ring up and I ask if they put their credit card details into a pop-up, they say yes. I then say "well, technically it is your fault, would you give your card and pin to someone on the street if they said they needed to check it out?" They invariably answer in the negative.

People who give their card to someone then act surprised when they rob them blind are a favourite. They launch into a diatribe about how I am the one at fault and they should be protected.
The standard response to this one is
"If you lend your car to someone, and they crash it, would you moan at the car company?"
"err, no"
"so when you lend a credit card to someone, give them the PIN and then they use it, whose fault would that be?"
"well, putting it that way...*hang up"

Other favourites from my time in the service industry include

"Do you have any vegetarian chicken?"
"They're all vegetarian, chickens practice an ancient form of Buddhism, the story goes that they were present when the Buddha became enlightened and took on his ways"
"Oh, excellent, I'll have some of that then"

"This gazpacho soup is cold"
Didn't even dignify that with an answer.

*whilst silver serving a full tray of meat*
"could you get us some drinks right away?"
"I'll do it in a minute, I'm a little tied up now"
"When I go to a restaurant and I ask for something I expect to get it"
"In 2 weeks I'll be able to do that for you and multi-task, you see, I'm getting an extra pair of arms sewn on"
"They can do that now?"
"Yeah, wonders of modern science eh?"

Same bloke then complained that his Yorkshire puddings looked homemade. When asked if he could wait a few hours whilst I got some couriered from Rotherham he went quiet again.
(triley, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 16:54, 1 reply)

haha
Gazpacho soup day!
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 16:59, closed)