Rice
A customer walked into the shop I work at the other day and chucked a sellotaped bag of rice onto my counter.

"May I help madam?" I say in my most polite voice.

"Don't fucking work" She mumbles grumpily.

"I'm not sure I understand." I respond, in a voice Stephen fry would be proud of.

"Don't work do they? Didn't cook!" I'm unsure exactly what this woman is going on about but decide to press on.

"Have you tried boiling it?" (It was obvious and I hoped I wouldn't offend. Needless to say, I didn't.)

"Don't be fucking stupid. Microwave innit."

I was now confused. She'd tried microwaving the rice? She continues...

"Just went dry."

"Well what were you expecting?" I say, trying to not be too condescending.

"Popcorn..."
(Foz, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 20:53, 5 replies)

that can't be true
nobody with the mental ability to both walk and talk can really be THAT stupid, can they?
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 21:13, closed)

I am afraid it is.
Bear in mind it was an old person.

The very same woman who tries to pay for petrol BEFORE using the pump.
(Foz, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 22:03, closed)

paying before you pump
is de rigueur around these parts
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 22:47, closed)

AHAHA
First real laugh out loud I've had on QOTW in a while.

thanks.

*click*
( morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Sat 6 Sep 2008, 0:32, closed)

*snorts*
Thanks to you, my keyboard is now covered in coffee.

Fabulous.
(moogal has eggs, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 23:52, closed)