Commuters - the Über Customer from Hell
Before I post my epic, I should point out that before I became a Train Driver, I used to be *in IT* (whatever that means). I've done 1st, 2nd and 3rd line support, I've managed Networks and Comms systems and in every one of my IT roles, I've come accross the same tw*ts, and it all boils down to one thing;

They want to blame their own shortcomings (be it in their own technical knowledge/aptitude or the *length department*) on you. You are the "IT Bloke" so you are a fair target when they don't bother to backup their work, or think that working on the same document for six hours without SAVING it is a good idea.

In IT, you get blamed for everyone else's mistakes.

Which is why I left the world of IT to drive trains...

...only to be presented with a group who are, quite possibly the ultimate examples of 'Customers From Hell'...

...that's right...

Commuters!

Essentially they are creatures of habit, they stand at the same place on the platform each morning and evening, they sit on the same seat everyday and moan constantly about the service/cost/staff/full moon.etc even when things are running at peak efficiency.

There are several tales of woe I could recount, from the bloke who had a go at me because the trains were cancelled due to a suicide - as I was helping the police and ambulance guys manhandle a large bag of bodyparts up the stairs and through the barriers, or the drunken idiot who thought it was a good idea to fall asleep on the last train on Christmas Eve, only to be woken up 70miles from where he wanted to get off and as it was *my* fault he was p*ssed and fell asleep, he tried to kill me with his umbrella - he got just what he deserved when, once the police had calmed him down, he had to pay £120 to get back to London.

I deal with the 'I pay your wages' brigade every day, I have people trying to kill me, kill themselves infront of me and more often than anything, drunken chavs who always defend their actions by claiming that 'they woz only messin' araund, innit mate!' Yes - I'm sure the family of your equally drunk mate will take that onboard when you 'pretend' to push him infront of me as I do 70mph through the station.

I've seen every possible form substance the human body can produce, smeared over the inside of a train, left in neat piles on seats or more worryingly, splattered over the front windscreen.

I'm just glad I'm not a guard. I've got an armoured door between me and the great unwashed, and without it, I can assure you that I probably would have gone postal by now, using the rather large and pointy hookswitch pole in my drivers cab to dispatch as many of the moaning tw*ts as possible before the police took me down.

I HATE Commuters.
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 23:01, 5 replies)

oops
my bad..I thought we were supposed to leave excrement smeared on the seats when we ride on a train. I'll try and stop
(europe-who, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 23:25, closed)

I'm a commuter!
I love trains! Thankyou for being one of the people who make riding on my favourite mode of transportation possible!

With out the likes of you I'd never be able to go on mighty adventures and travel vast measures of land to see the man I love!

~really loves riding on trains~
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 23:48, closed)

Thank fuck for armoured doors.
I may be an occasional twunt. Seemingly, semen isn't so nicely accepted as a "thank you for good service" in the South.
(kittyfiddler is a freelance gynaecologist, Sat 6 Sep 2008, 1:03, closed)

...
I'm a commuter...but there is no way I am as bad as a football fan returning home who is in the presence of other football fans returning home while on a train.

Football fans on trains = Inbred fucking chimps
(twiceydrinker hmmm is it pint time?, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:11, closed)

A-Fucking-Men
My dad is a train driver and some of the shit he's put up with in 40+ years is ridiculous. Have a click.
(GONEism, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 19:30, closed)