I know the feeling...
for what should only be for another QOTW, I was once kicked out of my local pub for calling someone a pedophile (I didn't, and it's a long and drawn out story).

Susiquently, I was seen drinking in another pub in the same village by the landlord of the first pub (who was absent on the night in question).

He saunters over to me with his 'right-hand man' and says, "I wanna word with you, outside, like NOW".

So I goes outside, at which point him and his monkey were rolling up their sleeves and trying to look menacing. I casually got my mobile out of my pocket and dialled my own home number (knowing of course, that I wasn't in!), after a few seconds, I started saying "Hiya mate, where are you?", "ah, round the corner then, excellent, yeah, got some bother with that prick, you know the one, from the xxxxxx pub. Oh, "he's" with you is he, bonus, yeah I'm in the beer garden of xxxx pub, so in you two mins then."

The organ grinder and his monkey quickly fucked off!
(dchurch bah, Sat 6 Sep 2008, 19:35, Reply)