Not being a customer from hell...
... can sometimes get you a long way. Or at least the same distance in more comfort.

On my way back from the USA once, I was dressed fairly smartly so I went into the Virgin lounge to ask whether a silver frequent flyers' card was enough to get in. Turns out, the answer is "no". Oh, well, so just on the offchance I asked whether there was any chance of a free upgrade.

Meanwhile, next to me at the reception desk, talking to the other receptionist, was an American woman with a gold card who was loudly berating the staff for not providing her with the free upgrade she was, apparently "entitled to". Rude, arrogant, and generally being a spoiled pinch-faced old stress-ball.

My receptionist said that there may be a chance of an upgrade, depending on who turned up for the flight, but she couldn't guarantee it and would put me in the queue. (This is the same thing that had earned her colleague a mouthful from my fellow traveler.) I thanked her, and was about to leave when she leaned over and said "But I know who's definitely not getting one," eyeing up the disgruntled gold-card holder beside me.

When I got on the plane, I got to see her sour face again as I walked past her cramped seat, on the way to my nice reclining bed and hot and cold running champagne in Upper Class.

Upper Class is great - a full night's sleep and they made me a bacon butty for breakfast. Result.
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Sun 7 Sep 2008, 17:07, 4 replies)

Revenge is sweet, sayeth the Lord
I got to see her sour face again as I walked past her cramped seat, on the way to my nice reclining bed and hot and cold running champagne in Upper Class.



Oh that must have warmed the cockles of your little heart!
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Sun 7 Sep 2008, 20:42, closed)

The Robin Hood of airline travel. Sort of.
Taking flight privilages from the undeserving and giving them to the decent folk.
(Sundayturkey has the biggest mug of tea, Sun 7 Sep 2008, 21:19, closed)

I do fly long haul business class out of choice (despite having to spend lots of my own money)
and some of the harridans (hate to be sexist, but...) who are upgraded through into BC (normally through shouting at the desk staff and saying "Do you know who my husband is?") tend to be the most demanding, ungrateful pieces of shit I have ever encountered. Me, I'm just courteous to the air staff and they are nice to me in return. That costs nothing. Being an ungrateful crapspoon who tries to pull rank on everyone but the pilot, always gets served last, with the only thing left on the menu, and which is probably cold.
(Dr Teeth Who asked you, you fuckin' hobbit?, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:39, closed)

Politeness definitely works
New year's eve 2001, Cincinatti Airport. Check-in bloke looks harassed, which isn't surprising with the long queues and increased security (it was a few days after the shoebomb incident). I ask if it's possible to get an emergency exit seat (I'm 6'3) - all gone. Smile, say "That's OK - I can see the flight's quite full" - bloke presses a few more buttons on his keyboard, hands me the boarding pass, and says "Enjoy your flight, sir, and have a good new year".

Check the seat number - I'm in 6C. Pointy end passengers board first, so I'm sipping my champagne (in a real glass) as the peasant class head to the back of the plane. I think they would have been marginally pissed off if they realised that with a bit of politeness and a smile, they might not be spending eight hours with their knees around their ears.

I haven't managed a free upgrade since, but it's always worth asking.
(CaptainParalytic, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:33, closed)