The model customer
One christmas period, whilst working as a despatch rider, I took an overnight delivery to an estate on Old street. Overnights are normally stuff people have ordered online, that have arrived overnight from other parts of the country. So I cruise in to this estate, poke around till I find the door, hand over the package, get a signature, and turn to leave, but the girl who signed says 'excuse me?', so I turn back, 'here' and shoves out her hand, I reach and take the folded up bit of paper she offered me, and she closes the door. A fiver! three times what my company payed me for delivering that job. I went and spent it on the only product I love more then bikes - food. YUMMY!
Having read some of the amazing stories on here, and having worked in a clearly almost idylic retail sector for a while (a bike shop), I have to say, those of you who are on the front lines for this stuff have my sympathy. My parents never drummed into me the need to be polite, they just showed, by example, that it's always possible to get what you want, and generally takes less energy, so I'm always polite to a T with, well, anyone, but particularly those who are 'serving' me. I always chat with the checkout staff in the supermarket, even though, in central london, it's rare to see the same ones twice (in the big stores), and feel bad on those days where I'm not feeling sociable enough to say hello, etc. I am on good terms with the bods in the canteen at work. As a result, I always get the biggest jacket potato in the canteen, and extra toppings, till staff often just pass over things that don't scan right twice in a row, and (as I always talk about food) I've picked up recipe ideas from a pretty diverse range of people. All for the cost of a smile, and a couple of well placed words.

back on topic, not a customer from hell, just from another dimension: any of you who have spent any time in crouch hill, stoke newington or inbetween may have spotted captain Birdseye (as he was known to us in the bike shop) An old geezer with a full white beard and long white hair tottering around on his bicycle wearing a flourescent yellow site jacket and hard hat. He was convinced that the sales manager, Matt, was the boss' son (even though the boss' two real sons both worked there at times, and looked nothing like Matt). The boss got so bored of him after a while (he used to talk loads, never to me, though) that he took to locking the doors and pretending to be closed, or running and hiding if we spotted him coming. He stopped coming after a while, so I guess he got the message. God, then there was this other guy, american, seemed wired most of the time, came in one time with some other bloke, maybe his boyfriend, with a 12 ounce coffe from the costa down the road, and was honestly juddering from the caffeine, he spilt coffee everywhere, had flecks of spittle on his lips as he talked, another time the alarm went off as he was leaving, and he was totally sound about me searching him, so he was in my good books, generally.
Finally a funny one: a nice enough lady, wanting a service for her bike, the mechanic came out, evaluated it, talked her through everything that would need doing, and quoted her a price, pointing out that some of the components would cost more, due to their not being so common any longer, to which her reply; "but my bikes not that old; I've only had it fifteen years!" - "Oh, only seven years younger then me, ma'am" I chipped in.

Length/Girth? 700x23 here.
(pins, Sun 7 Sep 2008, 18:28, 1 reply)

being a nice customer can be great
i've only lived in my current flat for 2 years but, due to always being polite to staff, i'm treated better at the local shop than people who've been going in there for 20 years. i've had everything from free glasses and lighters(promotional mostly) that i wasn't entitled to, to stuff a few days away from its sell-by date(also free), even the odd cup of tea. they're friendly, courteous, helpful and always up for a laugh.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 7 Sep 2008, 19:52, closed)