Could i book your cheapest holiday please?
People would phone up and through no fault of their own inbreeding would frequently get the names of popular destination alarming wrong. see if you can guess the real destinations

Grand Canary - my personal fave
Futureventura
Farterventurer
Future Adventure
Terrormolinos
Lanzarotten
Domino Republic
Dominigo Republic
Costa Brave
Costa Bravado

Fuck, this is bring back bad memories....but. i. must. purge them....

OK, what is it with people when they are booking a holiday? WHY do they (about 85%) of them demand to book the cheapest tattiest shite i can find them? So, after hearing this for about the 30th time that day, i ended up turning on this woman, in a professional manner, of course...

"Hi, Thomson holidays, Cancer speaking, how can i help?"

"could i book your cheapest holiday please"

*veins bulge*

"ok, i was wondering though, why does everybody always ask for the cheapest holiday, i mean, you wouldn't walk into an estate agents and ask for their cheapest house, or walk into a restaurant and ask for their cheapest meal, or walk into a car showroom and ask for their cheapest car. Cheapest is NOT always best...yeah?"

"well, yeah, i suppose so"

"well, you work all year, and you get a fortnight off and you want to travel thousands of miles and end up spending those two weeks, with your small children, in the scuzziest and cheapest accomodation i can find"

"well, yeah"

"OK..................when do you want to travel........."

And so on and so forth. I still don't know why they want them so cheap, ALL the time.

Or the cunts who would 'want a wee cheapie, because this is the 5th holiday we have been on this year"

Yeah, my heart is bleeding RUSTY PISH YOU SACK OF FUCKING BUM GRAVY

Or maybe the oddest one, not a customer from hell, but worth a mention, was this woman who called up from the foyer of the hotel she was in, in Benidorm....to book another weeks holiday for the next again year, in the same hotel....Bizarre. i think she must have gotten pumped by some Spanish waiter and was so enamoured she comitted her next years holiday as soon as she could...
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 13:57, Reply)