An open letter...
Dear lady in the sparkly top
I wasn’t supposed to be working this evening. The barman cried off sick, a consequence of too many nights in a row eating E like they were skittles. It’s only my third night behind the bar, it’s a Saturday and frankly, I’m out of my depth. Serving students on a Friday is one thing, running a private party for what seems to be the population of a small (albeit rather inbred) country is quite another.

It’s noisy, and people are drunk, I get that. It’s pretty much the function of a pub, to provide alcohol, to help you make merry, to celebrate whatever the hell it was you were celebrating. But let’s get a few things clear. Cleavage will not help you get served quicker. Neither will shouting or waving a twenty pound note under my nose. I serve people in the order that they arrived at the bar. I’m good like that.

When I ask you whether you would like ice in your drink, a simple “yes” or “no” will suffice. You don’t need to look at me like I’ve asked you if you’d like me to rape and kill your children. Furthermore if you don’t answer me, I’ll put ice in your drink. And I will keep asking you, politely, and subsequently adding ice to each drink until you specifically ask me not to. It’s my job.

I would prefer it, however, if after I’ve served you possibly your eighth drink of the evening, when you suddenly decide that you don’t want ice, that you inform me. Don’t put your hand in your drink, scoop out the ice and fling it in my face screaming “I said no fucking ice, you fucking stupid bitch.”

That sort of thing tends to get you swiftly removed from the pub.

But you know that now, don’t you.
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 17:25, 3 replies)

AWWWW GOD
C'mere, you, give us a cuddle.

I stopped going out for drinks years ago because of other people like that.
(oneltrchardonnay, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 12:26, closed)

Poor
you! People like that are a waste of space.
(YayLady is cold, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 14:41, closed)

Nicely written Rakky
Nice!
(Jugular, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:48, closed)