Where to begin?
I worked for the high-street everything store that isn't Woolies for about 7 years, including during 6th form and uni, in that time rising from temporary bag-packer to Assistant Manager. And by heck did I have to deal with some stupid customers.

A seasonal one: it's Back to School time, so the store is full of promotional displays of school-related items. Over towards the kitchenware section is a stand piled high with lunchboxes. Above it, a large sign tells you that these lunchboxes are on some offer. Two aisles away, we also sell lunchboxes, of a completely different type. Surprisingly enough, these are not on the same offer, and as such have no offer ticketing. I had somebody screaming blue murder about how "misleading" it was that only the boxes with the sign above them were on offer...

Then there's the lady who actually burst into tears in the lighting section when I told her I couldn't sell her a display light fitting (mostly because it was bolted to the ceiling and couldn't be removed without dismantling half the shop).

My favourite one happened on a day when, for whatever reason, the world and their dog descended on the store, and we were exceptionally busy. I had all the tills open, and headed to the customer service desk where I planned to open the second till myself and try to get the queue down. Until I was stopped in my tracks by Mrs Important.

Her: "I want to speak to a manager."
Me: "I'm a manager, how can I help?"
Her: "I think it's unacceptable that I have to queue like this. I want to return some items."
Me: "I'm sorry about the queues, but we are very busy today and doing everything we can... if you join this queue we'll be get to you as soon as we can."
Her: "But most of the people in this queue are just paying for their items!"
Me: "They may well be... but we have no way of knowing what people in the queue are after."
Her: "Well aren't you going to tell them to go and queue at the checkouts instead?"
Me: "No, because they are queuing patiently, and I'm not prepared to inconvenience them for you. If you want a refund, you need to join the queue."
Her: "Have you seen how long that queue is?" (by this point it's down to about 6 or 7 people)
Me: "It would be moving quicker if I was on that other till helping to serve people."
Her: "Well why don't you just do that then?"
Me: "Because I've been dealing with you for the past five minutes..."

She left, muttering about calling head office. She didn't, though. If there's one thing I hate, it's people who think they're more important than anyone else and so should be able to queue-jump.
(moogal has eggs, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 0:43, Reply)