As I have previously mentioned
I used to work at a popular pizza chain, delivering pizza on mopeds.

The level of thick-headedness displayed by the customers was incredible.

Once, I rode 5 miles through the wind and rain to deliver a pizza. "Where are the dips?" said the customer. "I ordered dips!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't see anything on your order about dips." I said. "But I'll be coming back up this way in about 20 minutes - why don't I drop them off then?"

"But I want them now! I ordered them, and I want them!"

So off I go back to base, get the dips, and ride back (by this point it had started thundering - a big, ugly full-on storm was brewing.) I knock on the door. Twatface appears, snatches the dips out of my hand, then slams the doors.

Not a tip. Not even a 'thank you' for putting my life at risk riding in a storm to deliver fucking dips so your fat little cunt of a daughter can stuff her face.

Next time, I spat in his pizza.



And another one. One of our riders managed to stack his bike into the back of a parked car. Nothing major, twisted shoulder etc, but he was taken to hospital for a checkup.

Phone the customer. "Hello?"
"Hello, I'm calling from ****** Pizza, I'm afraid your pizza will be about another 45 minutes as the driver had a crash on his way to you."
"That's not good enough!"
"I'm sorry, all the other drivers are out on deliveries."
"You tossers!"
"Listen mate, one of our drivers has had a crash and frankly, his life is far more important than your pizza. Why don't you fuck off and get it elsewhere?"



He did too.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 12:45, Reply)