A cheeky pearoast from me...
For a short, unhappy time, I worked for Abbey (then National), just as they were taking over the N&P. So I started at an N&P branch, where they had open counters.

A very angry man came in, bypassed the queue of people and marched up to my counter. He shouted, "Do you mind fucking telling me why my fucking card doesn't work in your fucking machine?" At this point, he rudely flicked the card across the counter and it slid to a halt right in front of me. Whilst he continued to rant and rave, and everyone in the branch watched and waited, I looked at the card and had one of those glorious moments of impending victory.

When he had finished swearing, I pushed the card back across to him with the tip of my pen and said sweetly (but very loudly), "Sir, this is your BT chargecard. Perhaps you'd like to try your cashcard instead." To his credit, he blushed and said, "I look like a bit of twat, don't I?" I just smiled.
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 13:29, 1 reply)

Nice Pea
I think I remember this one from the first time around. Still funny as hell.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Wed 10 Sep 2008, 19:27, closed)