My brother
Sneaking down to get a glass of water in the middle of the night. He decided not to switch the lights on in order not to wake anyone, and so failed to notice that the dog had left a large turd in the middle of the kitchen floor. He said later that the sensation of treading in it, barefoot, was 'like cold toothpaste curling between my toes'.
He didn't even clean it up, and so in the morning the evidence of his mishap was there for all the world to see, like Man Friday's lone footprint on the beach.

This was twenty years ago, and it still makes me smile every single time I think about it.
(davywavy, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 10:51, 4 replies)

Shurrly
'like cold shit curling between my toes'.
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 13:07, closed)

lovely
I had something similar happen to me. Staying overnight at my cousin's as a kid, their dog left an egg at the bottom of the stairs. Naturally I went down at 3am for a wander in bare feet and stepped right in it. I spent the next hour! cleaning my foot in the bathtub.
(Suddenly, zebras Safe and sound for eternity, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 20:01, closed)

Oh
that's funny, the dirty bastard (the brother, not the poor mutt). So did he tread cack all the way back to bed then? Eeeew
(Rsoles, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 20:06, closed)

No, thankfully
He spent ages scrubbing his foot with a mixture of bleach and water, cursing cruel fate (and the dog).
(davywavy, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 12:20, closed)