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This is a question The Dark

17,000 writes: Everything bad happens in the dark. Tell us your stories of noises and bumps in the night, power cuts, blindfolds and cinema fumbling.

(, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 15:49)
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May cause discolouration of the faeces.
As with many others, I will ramble when asleep. A few of these times I remember doing the rambling, but seem to have no control over what I'm saying/doing. My first memory of this was when, as a young boy, I was asleep in bed for school the next day, and my mother had entered my room to close the windows. As she closed the first window, I bolted, sat up in bed and yelled

"NO! Don't touch the red one, it BUUURNSS!".

"Go back to sleep", my mother replied.

"Don't come crying to.. *snuffle* me hurt yoursel.. *ZZZZzzz*" was my witty riposte.

Other experiences have involved my girlfriend, who was the victim of me waking up at some ungodly hour, and exclaiming

"Get back to your desk, you stupid boy!" *clips around ear*

Then promptly falling back to sleep. She wasn't best pleased about that one, but little did I know that she was plotting revenge. A few nights later we were in bed having a conversation (I forget what about) and my girlfriend brings up the incident in question, as I lay back closing my eyes and somewhat chuckling to myself about the inanity of it all, she shouts:

"Well now you're BLIND!"

I open my eyes. I see nothing, darkness has engulfed me; what witchcraft is this? My eyes, my beautiful eyes! I decide to respond to her, in a way the luminaries Oscar Wilde or Bertrand Russell may have done:


Her laughter, her iniquitous cachinnation reverberates through my auditory organ. How dare she laugh at my newly impaired vision! Until, that is, she turns the light back on.

(, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 11:56, 1 reply)
(, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 11:59, closed)

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