a long time a go while
i was but a manky studenty type (actually i was never that manky - i didnt see how being at art college meant i had to dress like a french vagrant)

i have many tales of towering acts stupidity and recklessness but we shall start with one of Mrs Spimf.

I decided to do a runner from a few months rent and move to another flat. Mrs Spimf was in charge of the move while i was noodling around at art college or more likely in the pub across the road.

So there she was happily making trips back and forwards across town in her company ford orion packed with my crap.

I cant really comprehend what was drifting through her candy floss head when she spotted the deep fat fryer but the decision to transport it across the very hilly town of Dundee without emptying it first will remain one of life's great mysteries.

So carefully she picked up the grease laden appliance carried it down the stairs as if it were a slightly cruddy landmine. wedged it into the footwell of the passenger seat. drove up and down steep streets at at a funerial pace, extracted the artery clogging device. gingerly carried it to the front door of my new flat opened the door and promptly lobbed 2 litres of oil on the brand new carpet.

grim reaper? - i could have fucking killed her myself.

daft bint
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 7:16, 2 replies)

Now that...
...is fucking great, cheers!
( SpankyHanky, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 9:30, closed)

awww
give her a kiss from me- fellow blondes in disguise (at least I'm assuming as you've never sent me a pic of her).

xox
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Sat 14 Feb 2009, 7:22, closed)