Potential football-related suicide
I am, and always have been, a Celtic supporter. Not the easiest thing in the world to be when you live in a city populated mainly by fans of the perenial underachievers of Scottish football, Hearts and Hibs.

Anyway, on with the story. As a student, I lived in a hall of residence way out on the eastern outskirts of the city. My girlfriend of the time live on the western outskirts of the city. Getting to her place involved a 1 hour bus ride right through the city centre.

One Saturday afternoon, I was heading over to her place. For reasons that escape me now, I was wearing my Celtic top - the famous green and white hoops.

OK, so shoot me - I would never wear a football top now unless I was actually playing the game, but this was a long time ago and I was but a pimply 20 year old.

The number 44 bus goes along Gorgie Road and past Tynecastle, home of Hearts. With it being a Saturday afternoon, they had a game on. Against Rangers. Gulp.

So there I am, sitting bold as brass on the top deck of the bus, resplendent in my Celtic top, sitting in amongst a bus full of half-bevvied neanderthals in Hearts and Rangers tops making their way to the game.

Oh my fucking giddy aunt. I was absolutely kacking myself. I knew that if I moved I would (a) bring attention to myself and (b) probably unleash an avalanche of turd from my oscillating trumpeter's lips.

I just stayed in my seat, said nothing, and looked out of the window.

And you know the crazy thing? No one said a word. Not a fucking word. I still to this day cannot believe that I was stupid enough to have made the mistake in the first place, and secondly lucky enough to live to tell the tale.

I can only imagine that everyone else on the bus must have thought that I was a tooled-up psychopath looking for a bloodbath to kick off.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 13 Feb 2009, 9:46, 4 replies)

Hooray another Bhoy ;)
I used to live at Fountainbridge which is a mere stones-throw from Gorgie/Tynecastle.

Me and my mate were waiting at the busstop outside the big cinema complex as we were heading off to Uni I think. My idiot friend was wearing a England replica shirt!

Some bald headed bulldog like thug walks past, spits on my friend and says "fuck off back to England"!!!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 9:50, closed)

Nice!
Edinburgh is the Scottish capital of culture, doncha know!

I lived in Wardlaw Place for a couple of years, which is just round the corner from Swinecastle.

Match days were a nightmare. Knuckle-draggers and Buckfast as far as the eye can see....
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 13 Feb 2009, 11:12, closed)

Ha!!!
Thats great!

They probably thought you were wearing a green and white hooped leisure top... (The Hearts fans I've met haven't been the brightest).
( SpankyHanky, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 10:06, closed)

It's not impossible
But it's like a red rag to a bull round that way.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 13 Feb 2009, 11:10, closed)