a few years ago i was attempting to enter the reading festival campsite.
for you see, my birthday usually falls on said hallowed festival.
me and my mate rich were kitted out. cool threads- check. air of barely contained glee- check. rucksack full of beers- check. bag of illicit powders and potions (for personal use) check. wristbands- ah.

for you see we did not wish to see bands, merely to enter and party with other like minded hooligans.

so it came to be that we found ourselves climbin a smalll wizened tree by the big security fence, in the dark, trying to get over. my mate drops in (with the beer) and runs into the crowd. a shout goes up, oh no! intruders! i'm half onto the fence (i'm a big chap- not entirely unathletic but at 6'3" and 17st, somewhat cumbersome?
missiles start to fly past my head, shoes, a tin of beans, empty calor gas canisters.. i can see security heading towards my position from two points, closing fast. a glass bottle smashes by my face, i decide discretion to be the better part of valour and promptly bail.
forgetting i was directly above a spindly-ass dead tree, and a barb wire fence.

so thus it came to be that i was rolling about on the muddy path in the dark, clutching my beleaguered arse, whimpering, covered in small scratches from the tree with a big welt right across both buttocks from the amazing bounce-hit tree again-hit floor trick i performed.
by some miracle, or more likely the previous entrants, the particular stretch of wire i landed on was devoid of barbs, or i'd probably be able to shit in two toilets at once right now, but i was still there, rolling about in the dark, alone, sans beer, coked off my tits, on my birthday, feeling like i hired jona lomu as a dominatrix.


bugger.
click if you think i'm a cheapskate and should have paid for a ticket to see some bunch of pretentious indie-fags in spray-fit jeans singing about sex they'll never have.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 12:17, 4 replies)

Hehe
Askers don't get ;-)
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 12:22, closed)

you penis
why are you proud of being a wanker? everyone else pays to go to reading, why shouldn't you? don't like the music, don't come...
( Soggy, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 15:23, closed)

you suggest paying £150 odd to get into a muddy campsite when as stated, you don't want to see any of the bands?
one of us is DEFINITELY a wanker matey.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 17:58, closed)

Last time I did that
Me and my mate climbed over the fence and onto the backstage ladies toilet block. There was a bit of a queue so some ladies were squatting down behind it. We sat and watched for hours :)
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 18:24, closed)