Washing Machine Man.
I'd been childishly splashing away in the warm shallows of the South Atlantic Ocean when boredom struck and I decided to make my way ashore.

The waves were tumbling coast-ways and everything was primed for an heroic belly surf all the way to the golden sands on which my friends lazily sunned themselves.

I set off at a casual crawl to where the waves began to break and where my stumpy legs could reach the bottom, so as to provide sufficient propulsion for my unforgettable effort.

People will be talking about this for years, I thought, as I prepared to launch with the necessarily perfect timing to catch the wave at the optimum moment.

Having all the coordination of a new born, bandy-legged foal; I managed to throw myself towards the bottom of the sea with the necessarily perfect timing for the wave to crash down on top of my head and spin me violently, as though I were trapped in a salty washing machine.

After what seemed like days of being tossed viciously in my soon to be watery grave, I had an epiphany and stuck my legs out in the hope of gaining some purchase on the ground I assumed to be below me.

Success. I stood to my lofty 5'6" and breathed deeply, taking in vast lungfuls of air until the water vapours made them sting. My whole body shook with adrenalin and I strode back to the beach as manfully as my quivering legs would allow, and nervously flopped onto the warm sand, trying to adopt a relaxed, nonchalant air.

"Did you see that?" I asked casually through my shaky tones.

"We saw you nearly drown, you cock." was the unified response.

I inquired as to why there was no effort to save me from my imminent peril, but apparently 10 seconds of spinning around under water doesn't warrant a Baywatch style charge up the beach, not even a slow motion one.
( Moey, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 16:05, 2 replies)

this
happened to me, although not in the South Atlantic. Standing up wasn't an allowed option until the breaking wave decided to calm down a bit all by itself.
(haberman is singing in the changes, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 17:40, closed)

I think your experience is more common.
I just appear to have allowed myself to become unnecessarily flustered for the short period that I was being rolled around in the waves.

I'm not the most manly man in the world.
( Moey, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 17:53, closed)