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This is a question Darwin Awards

Bluffboy says: My mate cheated death and burned his eyebrows off looking down the barrel of a potato gun. Tell us about your brushes with the Grim Reaper through stupidity.

(, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 20:01)
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The A5
Some years ago I was the proud owner of an Austin/MG Maestro turbo (fairly rare, I later found out) a truly mental car with far more power than the stone-age chassis and suspension could safely handle.

I was driving along the A5 on the straight bit just west of Cerigyddrudion at about 6 am on a fine, clear june morning when I decided to see just what the car was capable of. Silly, I know, but there was no traffic about, and this was before the advent of GATSO cameras (bastard bastard bastard things).

Pedal to the metal etc and I was flying! As I hit the 119mph mark I spied a couple of lorries in the distance coming the other way. "No prob", thought I, "the closing speed is fairly rapid but they're on the other side and I've got lots of time to slow down".

As I got within about 400 yards of them I eased off the throttle. All was well.

Then the front offside wheel blew into a million bits.

According to the marks on the road, I pirouetted three times, swerved BETWEEN the lorries and back to my side of the road before coasting to a stop, facing the wrong way and shaking like a freshly raped whippet. I don't remember the accident itself, just the aftermath of incoherent babbling and crying to the two rural coppers that turned up. I was mentally going through the rest of the route through the mountains in my mind and picturing all the places I could have plunged to my death. The shock took me weeks to get over and I was very close to jacking in my job.

It seemed that there was a casting fault that had caused the wheel to crack between the bolt-holes on the wheel, under the paint, which meant that it could have come off (leaving the centre of the wheel still attached) at any time.

On examination by the dealer, three of the wheels had the same fault, albeit to a lesser degree. I'd done over 12,000 miles in this car, transporting my then wife (pregnant with our first child), my parents, her parents and loads of mates on various jaunts.

Never drove it again.
(, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 13:56, 6 replies)
Sounds like an ordeal I had in a early Lancia Delta Integrale. A fast car, but not really designed for it very well.
(, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 14:13, closed)
Delta integrale
A truly, monumentally, biblically insane car! Never owned one but I've been a passenger (only once)and it shook me to the core.

Things we do when we're young eh!?
(, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 14:17, closed)
Of course
Nowadays I have a diesel automatic car and drive in the slow lane listening to classical music.

Ah well.
(, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 14:42, closed)
I'm still a bit mental
Used to have an Omega MV6 to police pursuit spec. Wider wheels, bilstein shocks all round and some very trick programming for the injection system. I beat my boss by MILES in it (he was driving a BMW M5) on a drive from Vesoul in eastern France to Calais.
My car cost just a shade less than his year's international business driving insurance. That really pissed him off.

Happy days.

I'm now razzing round this fair isle in a Passat diesel sport. Kinda fun but with tyres at a shade under a grand a set I'm glad it's company-funded!
(, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 15:26, closed)
His *insurance* cost more than your *car*?
Somebody's got a very small penis there.
(, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 19:59, closed)
For "Shivering like a freshly-raped whippet".
(, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 2:37, closed)

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