Worst date? Hmmm, only one for me...
End of semester Art College party, lots of serious young stick insects in 'individual' states of dress, trying desperately to look
edgy and cool. I was invited to attend by a smashing friend, who wanted to set me up with one of the few good looking and not too egotistical eligible lads.

I was introduced and we then spent most of the night waiting to board the tourist type cruise boat which was to take our happy group up and down the Brisbane River for several hours. Boat was delayed, so much drinking ensued in the interim. My date was beginning to slur slightly by this stage, but was still coherent and charming, and the night was young.

Cruise boat finally arrives, we all board, and finally, I get to drag my date to the upper deck for some fresh air. By now, on a steady intake of Strongbow cider, he has abandoned the charming manner and is beginning to give off that slightly desperate air that is the result of trying too hard to be cool. We are sitting side by side, when he leans over for a quick kiss, then breaks away, says "Pardon me," then without missing a beat or removing his arm from my breasticular regions, he leans two feet to the right, vomits copiously over the side of the boat onto the deck and patrons below, wipes his mouth, and amid the screams of dismay and disgust from the patrons below, turns back to me, partially pre-digested finger food liberally adorning his gothic attire, ready to re-apply his aromatic mouth to mine. At that point, I excused myself, and I spent the rest of the evening trying to dodge him, as he followed me all over the boat, asking if people had seen me, and only stopping briefly to spew every ten minutes or so. I was like a prey animal, hiding and trying desperately to keep one step ahead of the predator.

He was still topping himself up with Strongbow as he lurched about the vessel, so the chances of me allowing him to get close enough again were very, very slim indeed.

Moments before the boat docked and I could escape, he leapt off the deck of the boat in a manly display of athleticism, failing to reach the jetty by a good metre or so. I made sure he was fished out in one piece before fleeing the scene. I ended up going to the casino alone and winning enough cash from a poker machine to more than compensate me for the lost enjoyment of the evening.
( Shazzoir Old enough to know better young enough not to care, Fri 22 Oct 2004, 13:19, Reply)