Blind date...
Me and a mate were in a pub and got invited around to a rather nice Indian girl’s house for what she said was a small party. "Small", as we found out, was just the three of us – and she was really only interested in my mate, who was decidedly better looking than me. He felt bad for me and convinces her to phone a friend so that I can get some too. Half an hour later, there’s a knock on the door and he answers it. He comes back into the room I’m in and *pleads* with me to swap dates, as the invited friend is, in his words, "The most beautiful girl I have ever seen". His pleas being so heartfelt, I naturally refuse and await my beautiful blind date with baited breath.
She was about six foot tall, had a build that reflected her passion for the Army Reserves, did not smile once and had what looked like a dead spider stuck on her chin. (It turned out to be a hairy mole).
I was however quite drunk and pathetically desperate and figured if she had all the right girly bits it was worth a shot. She made me sit on her lap and it was the only time I have ever had a kiss where a girls lips were over mine. After a short time it all felt too weird and she got up and left because I was such a "limp dick". (As it happened, that was a very apt description).
I fell asleep in a drunken stupor on the sofa and was awoken by my friend punching my leg. He was having his wicked way with the Indian girl and had awoken me without her knowing so that I could watch. I thought this to be so decent of him I forgave him for his earlier deception. What a nice chap…
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Sat 23 Oct 2004, 2:35, Reply)