Mopeds, benefit fraud and fights
Before the current trend for internet dating sites was, well, a trend I tried my luck at the 'local paper' lonely hearts lottery, what a fucking mistake.

Date number one sounded 'ok' on t'phone (don't they all) but arrived at a mutually agreed pub on a fucking moped :( Now this was back in the mid-late 90's so no funky scooters or even a cool / retro Lambretta or Piaggio. This was a Honda Cub, like my Grandad used to ride. That set the tone for a very dull evening (from what I remember she liked sci-fi and rock music - the ultimate turn off for me) thus I ended the date with a 'I'll be in touch' and ended up contemplating my dating future over sausage and chips on Mousehold Heath in Norwich ....

Number two lived in a fairly awful part of Norwich ( as I later found out) in a council flat. Again, she sounded ok, if rather keen, on the phone but I thought I'd throw caution to the wind and meet her at her flat. I was greeted by her stoned brother who, all the while I was there (not long, as you will find out), sat in the corner of the lounge and heavily petted his laydee. Then, shortly after being made a coffee, my date's son appeared! This did indeed cause me to raise an eyebrow as she'd not mentioned him in our previous conversations. And finally, just to add to the surreality of it all, two old bill turned up and proceeded to question her about benefit fraud! I kid you not! In true tabloid reporter stylee, I made my excuses and left...

Number 3 was met in a pub in the middle of no-where in deepest, darkest Suffolk. Conversation was bit hard until she uttered the gem 'I'd really like to see a fight in a night club' There's not a lot you can say to that, apart from 'Well, it's been an experience, I'll call you'....

It's enough to put a man off dating for life!
(Paulyw, Sat 23 Oct 2004, 22:39, Reply)