i have had so many bad dates it hurts.....
but, on one particularly fateful evening i was invited out on a date by a guy who worked with my mum, who was frankly a bit of a wrongster. To be perfectly honest i had heard he was a bit, well, easy, so i was game for a night out with him, and pretty much guaranteed a bit of how's your father, if i saw him more than once. anyways to cut a long story short, he was a poseur, and i'm a pie and a pint sort of girl, so the evening was never gonna be successful, but i had nothin better to do,s o we agreed to meet down nottingham. my mates band was playing a gig, so i thoguht i'd take him along, skipping the more traditional dinner date, so that a satisfying liquid meal could be indulged in instead. the band was awful, everything sounded like the coral, and i continued to drink at an alarming rate. i actually managed to down drinks before the barman had given back the change, and my escort was actuallr rather impressed by this. it was about at this point that he noticed my feet, and they are rather small. god only knows why i said it, but i can only blame it on the alcohol, but i had heard a rumour that if you have small feet you gemerally have to have a caeserean. this was the first thing that popped into my head, a little puzzled he replied "oh" i didn't see this as a sign to shut up. au contraire, i continued with just about the wrongest thing you can say on a first date, other than "rape my dead mouth" which was " well i might have small feet, but i don't reckon my fanny's that small." needless to say i was rather drunk, i did see him again, but frankly the end didn't come quickly enough, if only he'd have gothis burberry umbrella out on that first date, i'd have made my excuses and left earlier!
(madamebonsoir, Tue 26 Oct 2004, 9:13, Reply)