When Rob suggested this question, my immediate reaction was, no, not yet anyhow.
Then I remembered Joe.

Joe had been covered with a blanket. I remember pulling it back, steeling myself in case I couldn't cope, but it was OK - there he was. Kinda peaceful looking.

The hospital left me with him as long as I needed. We sat for an hours talking about all the things I'd wanted to tell him. A one-sided conversation maybe, but a conversation all the same.

It was the silly small hours of the night, so it was quiet both inside and out. So quiet that I hardly noticed time passing or what I was doing. I certainly wasn't that rational - at one point I realised I'd spent quarter of an hour attempting to contort my body into the same pose that Joe was now occupying, just so I'd always remember it. I can't now, which is sad.

At some point I must have fallen asleep. I was woken by a nurse asking if she could take Joe away again, which was when I realised I'd seen enough and made my peace.

Farewell, son.
( chthonic, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 15:25, 12 replies)

Shit.

( Digeridude Lord Wellington's Beef Trapeze, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 15:27, closed)

I hope
This is in some way cathartic.
(Countryslicker, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 15:28, closed)

^^^^
Until I read that I had serious reservations about this weeks QOTW.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 28 Feb 2008, 15:33, closed)

Who is Joe
?
(Jimbotfu Bummed in the gob again, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 15:33, closed)

Oh absolutely
Part of the reason I went along with the suggestion for this QOTW was that it would encourage people to write/talk about their experiences. I found that incredibly cathartic at the time and helped me deal with everything that happened.

In fact, a year later we went a service for all the babies who'd died at that particular hospital and it was terrible - filled with people who were only just starting to talk and let out all that animal emotion. Plus a few who were simply wallowing in it - 10 years on and still standing up to read bad poetry. (it was at this point I had to leave as laughing wouldn't have been a good thing).

We snuck out and went to the pub instead. MUCH BETTER.
( chthonic, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 15:35, closed)

Christ
This is another speechless moment.

Glad to hear it helped.

And you're right, going to the pub is ALWAYS better.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 15:43, closed)

This tale...
made me hurt inside my chest and throat, and my eyeballs have gone more moist.
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 15:45, closed)

You utter cad
The payoff made me cry. You seem to have captured the sheer strangeness that can come over you when this happens. I ain't posting mine. No way. Have a click.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 28 Feb 2008, 15:50, closed)

heartbreaking
That's heartbreaking, and I very nearly got to experience it first hand, my young fellow was 13 weeks early.
(oeb, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 15:56, closed)

Ouch
As a father to be, (fust one) i might be being a bit emulsional but bloody hell, tears come a rollin!
Im sorry mate
Rusty
(morrigan456 made sex wee on, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 16:52, closed)

*goes all teary again*
and clicks of course
( Fathter Puddytat Kill Kill dat widdle boid is mine on, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 19:13, closed)

Shit
shit shit shit. I don't know what to say.
Hugs
xx
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sat 1 Mar 2008, 17:51, closed)