Mummy's Old Workies
Back when I was fairly wee, at about the age of 7 or 8, my mum and my two elder sisters worked at an old folks home near the beach in sunny Margate.

My dad, being the antisocial git he was back then, wasn't mum's first choice to look after me whilst she and my sisters were on the night shifts, so I had to go and stay in the filthy piss-ridden stinkhole a couple nights a week.

The experience that stands out most in my mind from those dreadful times was a typical night for the fam, but will stick with me forever.

Sitting in the kitchen grating industrial sized blocks of cheese to make myself a sarnie, I noticed one of the room alarm lights was flashing. I called my mummsy in and everyone rushed upstairs to see to whichever biddy needed assistance. This was a first for me so I legged it up there to see what goes on when these alarms are going.

Being a good mum, she let me in the room to keep an eye on me and made me sit in a nicely ammonia stained chair in the corner. As I turned to plonk myself down, I was horrified to see a fairly old woman, ailed with what can only be described as her fanny being sick.

There were organs actually hanging out... Now, I've never had aspirations of working in medicine or care, but do read up alot, and this... well... I still don't understand what could possibly cause a nice old biddy to have haemoroids coming out of the front bum.

So loving mum and loving sisters are trying to help nice sharing old lady out, whilst also trying to shield me from seeing this horrific sight, and after a few re-applications of catheters and a bit of juice in her IV, lovely nice old generous lady just can't take it and not so peacefully passed on.

and I'm just sitting there staring at this poor husk of what used to be a person... put me right off my sandwich.

Fucked me up a good deal too methinks... probably the root of my fear of the lady parts.

Truly sorry for length, it's my first time and after seeing that, would you be able to maintain one...
(RizzJizz doesn't do life., Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:20, 7 replies)

.
severe prolapse?
(cmouse is pondering about life in other jobs, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:46, closed)

Eeeeew
Vomits rather fine lunch of brie and grapes back up...
( Trollman, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:50, closed)

The poor undertaker.
He'll have to stuff all that crap back in there and superglue it shut.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:09, closed)

I was just
pushing some pastrami back in between two slices brown bread with my finger... when I read "ailed with what can only be described as her fanny being sick".

Superb. Laugh? I nearly dropped by butty. Have click.
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:14, closed)

Sounds like
a prolapsed uterus, actually not that uncommon in older women, not painful and only very rarely directly fatal. I've dealt with a few on sheep in my time (don't ask.) Can't think how it would kill her, unless I'm wrong...
(jennymnemonic, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:48, closed)

Sounds About Right
Doesn't sound like a very nice experience to me.

Was pretty traumatising on my young mind, even with all the countless gore films I subjected myself to. Nice to know it's not very painful though, even if she was very distressed I guess she was a bit past knowing what was happening.
(RizzJizz doesn't do life., Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:59, closed)

I'd certainly be distressed
if my inside lady bits were falling out!
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Tue 4 Mar 2008, 1:20, closed)