What was I thinking?CactusZack tells us: "I stopped dating a girl AFTER she got breast implants. For what reason I do not know, and I still kick myself for this." Tell us about inexplicable decisions that still haunt you.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 11:58)
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Pearost summary of my internet dating experiences...I've dragged this up from an old post of mine and have summarised the profile details next to my own experience of said profile owner.
Ambitious = I'll bore you to tears about my fulfilling career and who's toes I've stamped on along the way to get there
Outgoing = I'm promiscuous
Spirited = I might get into a fight en route to date (yes, I've seen it happen).
Australian = all of the above
Likes keeping fit = I've got a gym membership, but it's unused since 2005
Kind hearted = I'm recently dumped and on the rebound
Bit mad = I'm actually extremely boring
Enjoys a drink = I want you to fund an evening of train wreck piss artistry when I'll embarrass you in public
Loves animals = I have cats and dubious personal hygiene
Loves kids = I have four and want someone - anyone - to pick up the tab
Has photo of slidey roof Peugeot 206/Mini on profile = I'm very ambitious and my proudest acheivement in life to date is owning a three door hatchback. My name might also be "Emma".
Where have all the nice men gone? = All the men in the locality are wise to me and give me awide berth
Enjoys good wine = I chug Lambrini, by the bucketload. You're paying
Likes to travel = I went to Ibiza once and spent most of the time being sick
Loves films = I love chickflicks about someone's new pair of shoes which ramble on for hours and star Hugh Grant
Loves books = as above but in paperback
Caring = I'm a potential stalker
Bubbly = I get on everyone's tits
Pic shows closeup of bodypart = The most interesting thing about me is my left tit.
Nursing professional = I'll drink you under the table and indulge in frightening levels of debuchery
Ladylike = I carry brick in my handbag
Lives in Canvey Island = I smell
(, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 16:57, 1 reply)
You forgot:Cuddly: fat.
Curvy: fat.
Bubbly: manic. And fat.
Looking for romance and maybe more: will talk about the wedding on the first date.
Loves kids (alternative): will talk about babies' names on the first date.
Ready to love again: seriously damaged, will probably cry on the first date.
(, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 17:09, closed)
Ha!(, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 23:53, closed)
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