Dance of the flaming arsehole
On a uni fieldtrip in the early 1990's - the last day I decided to start drinking early to celebrate my smuggy intelligence at digging holes really well. By the end of the evening I had danced the flamers - with lecturers, students and potential employers watching me. I was too far gone to even take my shorts all the way off, so they lay like a bowl of soggy weeties around my ankles while I took dainty lady steps into the darkened night.

The next morning I awoke to the horror of it all, whispering to all viewers how terribly sorry I was to have offended them. The last person I apologised to was sitting outside at the table, looked coolly at me and then took a garbage bin lid off the table to reveal the butt end of the charred newspaper. What the hell, someone actually touched that. What were they thinking?
(boozehound is drinking your bar dry, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 4:33, 11 replies)

Great story dude.
Exactly what is it about, and where's the funny bit?
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Tue 28 Sep 2010, 5:46, closed)

Perhaps it is just an Australian thing
Dance of the flaming arsehole is when you take a couple of sheets of newspaper, roll them up (but not tight, gotta have the airhole), stick it up your arse, light it, dance around but don't let it burn your arse.

Does that have to be funny?
(boozehound is drinking your bar dry, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 6:05, closed)

That certainly sounds very Australian...
:P
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 8:26, closed)

Thanks
I probably should have smeared some vegemite on it and stuck it up a koala's arse just to be a real Australian.
(boozehound is drinking your bar dry, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 8:32, closed)

Never heard of that before
but I bet I'll remember it REALLY clearly next time I'm drunk. Curses.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 8:30, closed)

I thought it was more well known, but I am glad to give you a party trick that will impress your friends and co-workers. Hint: fold one end on the newspaper flat so it sits in the cheeks comfortably - and don't burn your pubes.
(boozehound is drinking your bar dry, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 8:34, closed)

The story is so so, but the reply is GOLD
"I probably should have smeared some vegemite on it and stuck it up a koala's arse just to be a real Australian."

Brilliant. And you have confirmed that my suspicions about my Aussie cousins are well grounded.
(impossibly witty twat No, YOUR Mum etc etc, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 13:56, closed)

I would love to meet your cousins!

(boozehound is drinking your bar dry, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 22:00, closed)

Yeah, I'd like to see them again too, but they were last seen disappearing into the bush with a trolley full of koalas and vegimite....
(impossibly witty twat No, YOUR Mum etc etc, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 9:14, closed)

I'm so sorry-
I don't understand what happened. You danced with some gay guys, you pooped your pants and then burned some newspapers? Have a heart, explain to me what went on.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 20:58, closed)

Not sure if you read the other comments, but here goes.
This is a peculiarly Australian thing where you smear vegemite on newspaper, roll it around a koala, stick it up your arse, light it and dance around.
(boozehound is drinking your bar dry, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 22:28, closed)