Destruction, Demolition and DeconstructionThe Lone Groover says "I've just taken down a pergola with a metre-deep Russian vine over the top. It had nine birds' nests in it, and had rotted all of the cross timbers. It covered the entire lawn and needs a skip of its own." What's the biggest/worst thing you've ever taken down? Tell us your tales of demolition and wanton destruction.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 8 Nov 2012, 13:17)
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The perfect crime!In 1987, my brother and I discovered that a certain type of weed killer was extremely flammable. So we tried mixing it with sugar but didn’t get the results we were hoping for. Two days and many a singed finger later I had a better idea , we dissolved the weed killer in water, dipped cotton wool in it and let it dry. We lit it and it went up with a very pleasing FWOOSH! We were pleased!
So, the next thing we did was cut down an old steel hoover tube and fill it with as much of the cotton wool as possible. After ramming a lump or wood in each end and inserting a homemade fuse we were good to go and off to the greenhouse we went. We lit the fuse and ran for it, there was a little smoke but that was it. Back we went and tried again… and again… and again… so giving up on the fuse idea we lit a tiny fire in the greenhouse and placed the HooverBomb© on top.
With fuck all warning, there was an almighty bang (I’m assuming that there was a bang, all I heard was “BA-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” and continued to hear that high pitched noise for two days!) My Brother and I then had to rapidly escape a greenhouse full of smoke whilst we were completely disorientated. The smoke cleared surprisingly quickly, this was due to the newly created 2 foot hole in the roof.
My dad ran into the garden shouting “WHAT THE FUCKING HELL HAVE YOU TWO DONE NOW???” at the top of his lungs This is where my brother the criminal genius attempted to shine. “Deny everything” He said.
This might have worked if we hadn’t been stumbling round the garden, singed and stunned and had come up with a better answer than a shaky “Err.. Nuffin!”
How I survived to the grand old age of 40 is a complete mystery!
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JamHamster My eyes, my beautiful eyes!, Thu 8 Nov 2012, 23:17,
2 replies)
It's nice that you learned to lip read or sign at such an early age.(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 7:36,
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Thanks detective, It was easy...It was one of his stock phrases. ;-)
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JamHamster My eyes, my beautiful eyes!, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 10:38,
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