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This is a question Destruction, Demolition and Deconstruction

The Lone Groover says "I've just taken down a pergola with a metre-deep Russian vine over the top. It had nine birds' nests in it, and had rotted all of the cross timbers. It covered the entire lawn and needs a skip of its own." What's the biggest/worst thing you've ever taken down? Tell us your tales of demolition and wanton destruction.

(, Thu 8 Nov 2012, 13:17)
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It wasn't my fault
Now my neighbour had a massive leylandii which must have been forty foot tall. I hated the thing, and plotted to sneak out at night, drill a hole in the trunk, and squirt weedkiller into it with a syringe. But I'm nice, so I didn't.

But by coincidence, the bit on my side of the fence was where I'd pile up grass cuttings. This heap was getting out of control, so one day I took the liberty of setting this dry pile of grass and vegetation on fire. I watched it for a while, and it burnt nicely, and then I went indoors.

Hours later, I was asleep in bed, went I smelt burning (this was an old house with sash windows which were a little drafty). I pulled open the curtains and saw the entire garden bathed in an orange glow. The tree on my neighbour's side of the fence had caught fire, and the whole thing was ablaze with orange sparks flying into the night air.

I put on some clothes and rushed down to the bottom of the garden. The tree was well alight - there was clearly nothing that could be done to save it. It wasn't near any structures, so I shrugged and went back to bed.

The following morning I surveyed the damage - the tree was now an ugly blackened skeleton.

Now my neighbour was blind in one eye, with very limited vision in the other. So I reckoned my best bet was to keep quiet and hope he didn't notice.

He did. He asked me what I knew, and I confessed it was my fault. And luckily he wasn't fussed. The end.
(, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 20:39, 1 reply)
Nice story, nice ending.

(, Sat 10 Nov 2012, 12:24, closed)

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