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This is a question Desperate Times

Stranded in a hotel in an African war zone with no internet access for two weeks, I was forced to resort to desperate measures. Possessing only my passport and the clothes I stood up in; and the warning "You can catch it shaking hands with a vicar out there" ringing in my ears, I had to draw my own porn in order to preserve my sanity.

Alas, it all came out looking like Coronation Street's Audrey Roberts, but, as they say, any port in a storm.

What have you done in times of great desperation?

(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 10:10)
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The Long Walk
Three miles from home and the last bus had gone."Not a problem."I think and began to walk. A mile into the journey and there was a growing pressure inside my colon. I had a train at the station and it was a biggie.
I gritted my teeth and clenched for all I was worth and waddled on. For two miles. Pausing every ten minutes to...erm...suck it back in.
Forty minutes later I staggered in through the front door, bathed in sweat and trailing noxious gas, and delivered my payload at long last.
And skidmarks were there none.
(, Mon 19 Nov 2007, 15:13, 1 reply)
I love the way you have worded this, its very funny.
(, Mon 19 Nov 2007, 22:35, closed)

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