Desperate TimesStranded in a hotel in an African war zone with no internet access for two weeks, I was forced to resort to desperate measures. Possessing only my passport and the clothes I stood up in; and the warning "You can catch it shaking hands with a vicar out there" ringing in my ears, I had to draw my own porn in order to preserve my sanity.
Alas, it all came out looking like Coronation Street's Audrey Roberts, but, as they say, any port in a storm.
What have you done in times of great desperation?
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 10:10)
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Desperate for Breakfast....I have an angry friend called Martin.When he is happy, he is very very happy. When he is down he is deeply deeply down.
He likes to partake in mood enhancing chemicals that come by the gram.
As such he had had a busy friday night, and as his appetite came back he realised his place was a shite hole with no food and popped out to continue his stalker round and see another friend of the group, Vix.
She had had a funny old night previous, and her and her now husband had indulged in a little sex play as they made dinner. As such, it became the food of love and contained a special extra ingredient. Her mans love potion. They ate heartily as they screwed themselves stupid, left the kitchen as if it was left on the Mary Celeste and went to bed to finish off what they had started.
Whizz to 11am next morning. Martin Arrives and is chatting away over a cuppa in their kitchen.
"ooh, whats that - mashed potato?"
"Yes" she says, with a quivvering in her voice " but don't touch that - its from yesterday and been out on the side all night" thinking any regular human would then leave it.
Before she finished the sentence she saw him just guzzling it back.
How do you tell a friend they are eating your other halfs jizz infused mash?
"Its fine - i was just so hungry " and he says proudly " - these people today, throwing away good leftovers. Its just people being too prudish. It won't hurt"
Martin isn't especially (read not) tolerant of manlove, or those whom practice it.
To this day the mention of special mash is greeted with titters. It was so funny, that both Vix and her man both told us seperately - they didn't care what we thought of them. I can just see the agro cnut greedily slurping his fill.
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bazza van der trance , ooh baby baby, baby baby. Get up on this., Mon 19 Nov 2007, 15:51,
3 replies)
That's just wrong :)Bangers 'n' mash, eh?
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Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 19 Nov 2007, 16:12,
closed)
I wonderif the natural saltiness would mean no extra salt had to be added...therefore making it more healthy...
Erm...shall I leave now?
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chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 19 Nov 2007, 16:39,
closed)
YepIts wrong on many may levels.
Its why it makes me laugh - and probably will continue for the rest of my life.
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bazza van der trance , ooh baby baby, baby baby. Get up on this., Tue 20 Nov 2007, 14:49,
closed)
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