Jo Brand and Dawn French...

...are the types I would happily go for a beer with, but would struggle to introduce to 'lil pooflake'. Yes I am THAT superficial – but with substance. Read on.

Delia = she might have the glint and be good with implements but it looks like the Queen mother left her the teeth in the will - no

Cherie Blair = Although she looks like the only one with the mouth capable of taking me on, there is not enough lube, money, Royhpnol or hessian sacks in the world. No is not a big enough word. Nooooooooooooooooooooooo

Jordan = no
Jody Marsh = for the love of fucking hook-nosed christ on a bastard bike - no
Paris Hilton = no
All the Paris Clones = no no (that’s ‘no’ with a clone of ‘no’)

I even saw Jessica Alba in that 'Good Luck Chuck' movie and thought 'She’s not all that hot. In fact, she's more like what a woman thinks an attractive woman should look like as opposed to what a man thinks'...so no.

Julia Roberts = as above…and no

Angelina Jolie = I’d consider it…but it’s all a bit too much…so no

Cherlize Theron’s quite nice I suppose – Apparently she’s a bit of a laugh, good in the sack and likes a beer…hmm reminds me of me.

I could go on and on…but I can’t think of anybody who grabs my attention in a truly feminine, sexy way like the ‘classic’ beauties did (in their prime) Liz Taylor, Monroe etc. Oh I don’t know.

I think Gemma Atkinson looks better in crappy safari clobber on ‘I’m a Celeb’ than she does tarted up like a prossie for FHM

There are some wonderful, stunning girls in every town and city in the world with the perfect amount of imperfections. How and why the fuck some people look to the so-called ‘icons’ above is beyond me.

*finishes rant*

*goes for lie down*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 21 Nov 2007, 16:20, Reply)