Desperate TimesStranded in a hotel in an African war zone with no internet access for two weeks, I was forced to resort to desperate measures. Possessing only my passport and the clothes I stood up in; and the warning "You can catch it shaking hands with a vicar out there" ringing in my ears, I had to draw my own porn in order to preserve my sanity.
Alas, it all came out looking like Coronation Street's Audrey Roberts, but, as they say, any port in a storm.
What have you done in times of great desperation?
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 10:10)
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Once whilst at PolytechnicI was tugging my Spam Javelin to some excellent Danish Porn, and my vas-deferens started to urgently contract as a precursor to ejaculation.
Looking desperately for somewhere to deposit my spooge, I ejaculated copiously onto the introduction page of my housemate's dissertation, which he had conveniently left on the coffee table.
I might've left it to dry and blamed a leaky roof, but it was a Peter North style 8 roper and rendered the whole page bloody unreadable, so I screwed it up and binned it.
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 15:39, 5 replies)
Ha!8 roper! :)
I shouldn't be laughing like this with my cold!
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Evil Bastardo, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 15:46,
closed)
You should have just left the page on the table.....and when your housemate came home just said to him "I've had a read of your dissertation, and I reckon it's a load of old wank".
Would certainly have raised a laugh in my old student gaff, but I guess you had to be there.
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 15:49, closed)
Bad planning.You didn't think to get some spooge-catching material ready BEFORE you started? That's as dumb as not checking for bog roll before starting to leave a deposit.
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 19:14, closed)
MusukoYou sound like the sort of bloke who would ring for an ambulance before he got the crap kicked out of him.
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 22:44, closed)
"You sound like the sort of bloke who would ring for an ambulance before he got the crap kicked out of him."Masturbation is a surprise event that you have no control over when and where it happens?
(, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 13:38, closed)
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