Does it count if they read it to you?
Mrs. God used to keep a diary. These days I keep her too busy to write in it... but this story comes from when we'd only just started seeing each other.

Anyway, we had a couple of hiccups before embarking on life's journey together. She'd decided to break things off, I'd written an email that clearly tugged at her heartstrings, and we'd got back together. So, we're on the phone (yaay for Telewest's free calls tariff!).

I asked her what happened, and she agreed to quote from the relevant section of her diary. And she began reading nice things about how lovely I am, how I was a real gentleman, always opening doors and stuff, but somehow she thought it wasn't going to work. There she stopped.

"Shame," quoth I, unable to resist, "as he's got a massive cock!"

There was an embarrassed silence at the other end of the phone. I apologised. Profusely.

Then she murmured the words I'd been longing to hear: "Actually, that *is* what it says. I wondered how you knew."

We're together to this day.

Length? Girth? Let's face it, it's integral to the story, and clearly quite satisfying.
(purplegod counting down for Christmas!, Sat 3 Feb 2007, 14:52, Reply)