Part 3
It was Friday evening and I had arrived in Los Angeles a day earlier than I had planned (because this happened). Since Monday when I had finally opened a working channel of communication (my cell phone (that's mobile phone)) with Lisa, I also established text-message contact. I was thinking of giving Lisa a call to say I had arrived early, but my latest $25 pre-paid card from a week ago had run out so I had to find yet another one for my mobile (a $50 one as they were out of 25's). When I got one, I told her I had arrived a day early, but we were still meeting on Saturday evening. She told me her car was still broken (but it could do short distances), so our mobility would be drastically reduced. She suggested we meet and go to her place.

We were discussing things like holiday allowances. I learned that she gets only 5 days of holiday allowance per year. She thought I was lucky with my 20, but told her I envied the French and Germans with their 30. She told me she'd never want to work in France. With the poor working conditions, I am surprised the US isn't an industrial colony of Europe. I can just imagine the Europeans out-sourcing their work to the Americans (in the same way as the Americans out-sourcing to the Mexicans) because it costs less.

As I had become familiar with Hollywood, I stayed another night at the same Youth Hostel as last time. In the Youth Hostel - there was a leaving party for someone who was either a long-term resident or a staff member, but I decided to save myself up for Lisa the following night. I had arrived the night the new Star Trek (Nemesis) film opened to the general public, and I managed to get in in the same cinema where it premiered a few days ago. I thought that seeing that I was in Hollywood, I should at least have a film-related experience while I was there.

The following day (Saturday), I headed for a cyber cafe and browsed my saved copy of Lisa's profile. It was the first time I had looked at it since the trip begun. I thought to myself:

"Wow!”

After a good start, my e-mail correspondence with Lisa disappeared, and made the odd re-appearance. Being in the USA was no different. I only got her phone numbers on the eve of our birthdays (the previous Saturday), which I couldn't get through to for another 3 days. Before that, I got from her one other e-mail that hinted that messages were being lost. There had been times I thought I was so close to meeting with her and then unexpectedly not getting through. But this time was different. We had established voice-contact and could call each others’ cell phones, and we were going to meet! People often go to Hollywood because it is the land of films where adventures happen, but I was having an adventure of my own right here in Hollywood and not spearing a thought to any of the adventures that are created there.

The Youth Hostel was organising a walking tour to a nearby canyon in the Afternoon. I managed to speak to Lisa on the phone just before I set off on the walking-tour. We were discussing how to get to her place. She told me she used to live in Hollywood, as it was where the hot spot for the nightlife was. She had only recently (in the last year or two) moved into a very far out suburb in the North West of LA, as it was close to her new job. Her car was still falling apart so could not come to pick me up from the hostel. Even though Hollywood is also Northwest of downtown, it was still far away. She had very little idea about the bus-services in the area, so it was up to me to plan a route. She threw around some names of nearby streets and districts. I felt it was a pity she didn't have the means to show me around Hollywood but she could have at least made some effort to think about how I could get myself over to her place. I told her I wasn't sure what time the last bus back would leave, but she told me I could stay the night. Considering she'd never met me, letting me stay the night was placing a lot of trust in me. I thought it was a good thing and convenient (as I didn't have to catch a 'last bus' or anything), but somehow, this trust she placed in me somehow made me feel slightly un-easy. I also asked if I should get something to eat before I arrived, but she told me we'd eat once I got there.

After the walking tour to Runyan canyon (where I had a good but far off view of the "Hollywood" sign), I did some research using the transportation-map of LA that was conveniently posted in the Youth-Hostel's common room along with some web-browsing on one of the hostel's "Internet-kiosks". I had thought earlier about renting another bike and cycling there, but as Los Angeles is one huge motherfucker of a city, cycling was out of the question (I estimate 4 hours from Hollywood by bike), so I chose the bus. I had briefly mentioned the idea of cycling to Lisa on the phone but she discouraged me from cycling to her place. It was the early evening and getting dark. After wrestling with the bus-routes, I found a direct route that took me from very close to where I was staying in Hollywood to somewhere 3 miles south of her place.

On the way to the bus stop, I phoned her up on my mobile and told her the intersection where the bus would stop (Americans have this thing about intersections). She said that was close enough and that I should call once I got there. The bus journey took 1h30m. Most of the other passengers on the bus didn't stay on long. When I got on, I overheard a few people talking about filming some pop video or other (hey, this is Hollywood). They left pretty early. Further down, I must have passed through a Hispanic area as just about everyone on the bus was speaking Spanish. There were also the odd stray group of people going for a night out. But nobody was on the bus anywhere nearly as long as me. I had no idea what the places looked like, but thanks to a very warped bus-route map and some assistance from the bus-driver, I knew which streets we were passing. Darkness had fallen even before I had left the hostel so that made things worse.

Eventually, I got off the bus. By now, I was very far off the beaten tourist-path. The area around me looked very anonymous. I was on an intersection of two main roads in a very thinly populated suburban area best described as a suburban wasteland. There was some traffic on one of the roads, but not much, and even less on the other. I don't think there were any pedestrians. By now, it was completely dark. The thought hadn't occurred to me before, but hanging out on this intersection might just be a bit unsafe. I phoned Lisa. I told her where I was, and asked if I wanted to be picked up - a bit of a pointless question seeing that I was still 3 miles from her place and had no idea exactly where it was. I was asked to describe the street corner I was waiting on. There was something that looked like a used car dealers (or scrap car dealers). I also mentioned there was a branch of KFC on the opposite corner, but unlike the chicken, didn't feel like wanting to go to the other side so I didn't cross the road. She told me to wait while she picked me up. I was within her car's holding-together radius so was assured it wouldn't break down. After the phone call, I noticed the KFC had an enormous KFC bucket outside the store. I wondered if I should have told Lisa to meet me there instead. A neon oversized fast food bucket sign is not a good place to meet a girl for first time - but then again, nor is Los Angeles. To add to my feeling of not having suggested we meet under the bucket, it started to rain, and then it stopped raining.

After a while of watching the traffic, I noticed a white convertible turn round across the intersection, and then saw it again heading towards me and slow down on the kerb. It was Lisa! Up to now, I had only seen one poorly lit photo of her that I had received more than a year before. She looked slightly larger than I had thought, but she was still the person on the photo. She was smoking a cigarette. She opened the door on the passenger's side and asked me to get inside. I can't remember exactly what we said when we first met, but I think it might have been about me getting from the hostel and how I found out how to get to the interaction. She soon asked me if I wanted to go out to eat somewhere or go back to her place and make a mess. I chose the latter option. Bzzzt! - wrong answer! - as I was to find out later...

We drove over to a supermarket where we were to get supplies for the evening. Lisa also took this opportunity to do her shopping as well. I have this thing about going to supermarkets with someone else - not really sure what to suggest getting so I just let her get along with her shopping. At this time, I could no longer think of anything to say to her anymore - may have been triggered by this effect supermarkets have on me. The conversation looked like it had fizzled out.

"Shall we get some chips - or what you call crisps"? She said.

I had been in the country a month by then and knew that they were called 'chips' over there, and that the Americans liked them as much as they liked cheese.

We soon reached the drinks section, and she asked me what I wanted to get. Choosing drinks is not one of my strong points either. I was tempted to say my usual line - "the cheapest and alcoholicest drink" but the novelty of saying that had worn off ages ago, so I just let her choose for me. She ended up helping me select a bottle of Chardonnay. She got Vodka for herself, and two bottles of Champagne for us both. Two days earlier when I was in San Francisco, I tried to re-assure her that not being able to drink is not the handicap on life that it's made out to be. Of course, having an all-day hangover makes it so much easier to explain that not being able to drink isn't the end of the world, and having kidney failure must make it so much easier to listen. So I was a bit surprised that we were even getting any alcohol. I asked her if this drink would risk having her kidneys bleed (or whatever it was they did). She told me that last week, her friends had gotten her so drunk that she was approaching the limits to what is possible to drink and this caused her kidneys to bleed / explode (or whatever it was they did) (and that's her idea of friends?). So it seems that I wasn't the only one who had an awful birthday - at least I was conscious. She said that just in case her kidneys do go off again, her medical records were in the cupboard. I wondered if I should have told her that there was no need to risk her kidneys just for me (I think I might have told her that but couldn't remember).

As well as getting things to eat for the night, Lisa did her own shopping as well. We got out and headed to her car. It only had one row of seats (could only seat two), so getting both of us and all the shopping in proved to be problematic, but we managed it, albeit uncomfortably.

We at last got to her flat. As I got inside, I was greeted by a cat. I like cats so I ended up stoking it. I noticed another cat further down the living room, and then another one. In total, there were four cats there. I looked even further and noticed a really huge massive great big television. Lisa was unpacking her shopping. It had reached one of those awkward moments where I couldn't think of anything to say and Lisa didn't say anything either. I just ended up standing where I had stopped while continuing to stroke the first cat so as not to feel ill at ease (that didn't work).

We soon moved over to the couch. The couch faced the end of the room with the window, and the TV was in the corner. The couch divided the living room into two (the half behind the couch was mostly the bit that was next to the kitchen (there were no walls partitioning the living-room and the kitchen)). In front of it was a small table laid out with things from the supermarket like crisps and some chicken and the drinks. Before we could establish that there wasn't a smooth flow of conversation or if either one of us was feeling awkward, the TV went on without any prior warning. Lisa told me that she had subscribed to a digital network and there were 1000 channels available. After flicking through the channels for a bit, we ended up watching Southpark. After that was a programme called "The Man Show" - a program that is best described by us Europeans as "the latest mind-rotting crap to come from America" - the sort of thing that you think would melt your morals if you watch it but once you let yourself go, you just sit back and enjoy it (a bit like Southpark).

The Television was dominating not only the room but also our time together. There was very little flow of conversation. She kept switching the TV over between Comedy Central and various cartoon channels, and occasionally, watching other channels such as Fox.

The couch itself felt comfy, but I wasn't feeling comfy. I had not yet gotten to the stage where I felt comfy with Lisa (we were getting along, but I hadn't yet passed that point where you feel comfy with someone). When I feel uncomfortable with someone, I tend not to notice my uncomfortable seating position, so I did not make any effort to make myself sit down more comfortably. As a result, I think I kept sitting in an awkward position and if someone had looked at me, I would not have looked very comfortable. Also, I wasn't sure if I should remove my shoes. There were a lot of cushions (and even a duvet) on the couch. I think there may have been too many cushions separating me and Lisa. Every so often, a cat would come near me and I'd stroke it. Lisa told me that she had had one of the cats for 17 years and wasn't sure how long it would last.

By then, the feeling of awkwardness had set in. I wasn't sure if the TV was distracting us from our awkwardness with each other or from our conversation. Most of the time, we both just sat there quietly watching the TV. Every so often, we'd exchange a silly idea or two, but that somehow didn't seem like we were having a conversation - more like one of us was making a remark at the other one of us. Something on the telly prompted her to talk about "extreme funerals" and some of the strangest funerals she had heard about. I took it as an opportunity to bring up my idea of wanting to form a super-corpse out of me and my dead friends (a bit like the "He-Man and the Masters of the Universe" character "Modulok"). That thread of conversation quickly disappeared into nothing. The evening had several moments like that.

We also briefly talked about our travels. Lisa told me she'd once taken an in-between job break herself and travelled round Europe, but not extensively as me. She told me her heart was in England. I could tell this as she kept mentioning in her e-mails etc. how wonderful England was, and her flat had a few decorations in medieval style (even if they looked plastic). She was also a huge fan of Italian food the way it was made and served in Italy.

One thing I did get to find out was a confirmation of the rumour I had heard many years ago that Americans really do like to watch UK politicians in parliament for entertainment value alone. I told her that it was the most fun between 1989 (when the houses of commons were first filmed), and 1990 (when Mrs. Thatcher resigned). We then moved on to American politics and briefly discussed the farce of the 2000 election. I mentioned that I thought that Ralph Nader should have won that election, which did not go down too well. And so we hastily retreated back into the TV.

During my trip, I had a few chances to watch some American TV. It's an experience to say the least, but I was having an overdose of it. Even though I was enjoying some of the TV, that was nowhere near enough to drown out the self-consciousness I was feeling which was blocking any free-flowing conversation. The annoying part of the TV was the adverts. I recon a half-hour program could have had up to five commercial breaks. The adverts became repetitive very quickly. I wondered if their aim was to get people to buy their products, or if the advertisers were trying to numb the public into a trance-like state of not being able to think for themselves by overwhelming them with too many contradictory non-reasons for consuming. Either that or there's a mass amnesia epidemic amongst the American population. One of the things being advertised was "Girls Gone Wild" videos. It made me think to myself "Is this really the sort of stuff we as a nervous boy-meeting-girl should watch together?". There were several more adverts along those lines.

By then, it was nearly 2am and for reasons unknown to myself we both moved to the floor. We were watching a cartoon channel but I could sense tiredness creeping up so the cartoons looked like nothing more than a bunch of bright and colourful flashing lights.

It was 2am and I was watching the TV on the floor, and then, the next thing I remember, it was 7am and I was on the floor. I had fallen asleep on the floor! Lisa also must have fallen asleep on the floor too. And so did the cats. I think the TV must have been on all night (it was still on when I woke up). Lisa appeared to have woken up around the same time I did.

I also think one of the cats might have scratched me in my sleep as I saw some scratch-marks on my arm, but couldn't remember it happening. I decided not to let that incident harm my opinion of the cats and didn't mention it to Lisa.

I stayed where I was on the floor for a while watching the TV. It was on a cartoon channel. Lisa had moved back onto the couch and was lying down on it leaving no room on the couch for me. Thank goodness for carpets! And the cushions and duvet that had appeared near me! At least I was enjoying the cartoons so I didn't really mind.

I soon got up to go to the bathroom. As I made my way round the flat to her bathroom, I saw her flat in daylight for the first time. I saw into her bedroom. There was another TV there next to the bed (but not as big). Considering how comfy the sofa was, I wondered if a compromise could be reached to save on resources - an even more comfortable sofa and a medium sized TV perhaps? I also wondered how often she makes it to her bed before she falls asleep in front of the TV. In the bathroom, there was a caricature of Lisa on the wall - presumably done by someone who makes a living offering to draw caricatures at some street-market. Whoever drew it put the date on it. It was exactly the same year I had my caricature drawn in a street market in Paris. But hers was in colour and mine wasn't.

I also took this opportunity to call the Youth Hostel with my mobile phone to tell them I'd be staying another night. I had to tell them so they wouldn't move my things away that I had left in the hostel. At first, they insisted I had to be at the hostel to extend my stay, but I told them I was way out in the Los Angeles outback, so they let me stay another night. If I had checked out of the hostel and taken all my belongings with me, it would have been OK for me to just not reserve myself a place until I had returned, but was afraid all my things would get moved so I had to have told them. I decided before I set off that I should just bring myself along and leave my stuff at the hostel. Of course, I could have saved myself paying for the previous night if I had known Lisa would have let me stay the night, but as I did not want to put myself through asking her if I could stay (we hadn't even met), I booked myself the previous night in the hostel anyway - it makes me more flexible that way. She didn't suggest I stay over at hers until well after it was checkout time on the Saturday, so it would have been too late for me to cancel my stay at the hostel the previous night.

The drinks etcetera was still where it had been left last night, along with my unfinished glass of champagne. Lisa lay on the couch a bit longer but soon got up to let me sit down.

The day was spent doing more of the same - watching cartoons (mostly Nickelodeon) and Comedy Central, being quiet and occasionally making a remark at each other. An advert for a mattress that came with an owner's manual did briefly inspire us to have a silly discussion with me coming up with a possible troubleshooting guide for a mattress. The discussion didn't last long.

Lisa was sitting there occasionally drinking a mixture Vodka and purple soda, and infrequently lighting up a cigarette. At around mid-day, one of her friends called her. One of the first few things Lisa said on the phone was:

"Oh Nothing."

"Grrr!" I thought to myself. Was that what my visit had amounted to?

After listening to Lisa's end of the conversation for a bit, I was able to establish that she was talking to someone in the UK.

Once the phone call had finished, she went back to being quiet and watching the TV again. I didn't say anything either. I think Lisa must have felt like she had forgotten I was there at times. Every so often, one of her cats would come by and she'd talk to it. Sometimes, I ended up thinking that the cats were nearly as much of a distraction as the TV. In fact, I think she may have spent more time talking to her cats than she did talking to me, but to be fair, there were four cats and only one me.

Despite there being some amusing programs on the TV, extreme boredom was beginning to set in. I had had very little to eat and was starting to get hungry too. Lisa never seemed to ask if I'd like something to eat. The occasional crisp (presumably left over from last night) didn't help much. Soon, something prompted me to say I had never seen the first Lord of the Rings movie (I think it was something on the TV). Lisa asked me if I wanted to see it. She could use her digital TV to order the film from the service-provider and play it instantly on her mammoth-TV. I felt too awkward to say we should actually do something or talk, so I just said "yes". Why did I do that? Shouldn't I have jump-started the conversation somehow? Now I was doomed to spend yet more time feeling bored. To make things worse, I chose to watch the un-cut version that was even longer. The whole film was due to last nearly four hours. At this time, I had given up all hope of us going out "people watching", or for that matter, being shown round the area. It felt like ages since she offered over the e-mail to send me some sand from Malibu Beach.

My attention span had suffered from the non-activity of the situation. During the film, my mind would drift away only to return to find I had missed part of the film, but the film didn't captivate my mind so I'd drift off again. While watching the film, we continued as normal - being quiet and me stroking a cat whenever one came along. The cats had long nails and I was wearing a thin t-shirt - not a good combination, so if a cat crawled on me, it hurt a bit. At one stage, Lisa asked me if I felt an earthquake. It was the first time on this trip the awareness of being in an earthquake-area had crossed my mind. I didn't notice it. Had I become too bored and anxious to even notice an earthquake?

After an eternity, the film ended. When it finally did, she asked me if I was about to fall asleep as I looked that way. Despite my inactivity, I was feeling tired. Perhaps sleeping on a carpet isn't all it's cracked up to be. I felt too tongue-tied to bring up the subject of me leaving. Lisa did decide to go onto the Internet to look up the bus-times so we could decide when I was leaving. Somewhere along the line, she all of a sudden said:

"But we didn't do anything!".

"Oh how very observant of her" I thought.

I thought about pointing the finger at her and telling her that because I was on her turf, she should have come up with what we were doing once I got there (after all, she knows what's around and I'm just a traveller from a far off land), and had just decided to let her do her own thing. But instead, I tried to be diplomatic. I said that I was exhausted from all that travelling/cycling and the day-long hangover I had in San Francisco, and I appreciated the chance to just chill out. Finally, the conversation was gaining momentum, but we were watching the Simpsons on Fox, which I found distracting for me so the conversation died out. At least now I didn't feel so awkward. We discussed how to reach each other by various Internet chat services. She only had MSN Messenger installed, and she said she hardly uses it and hadn't used it for a while. I also suggested sending each other postcards, which she thought would be a good idea. We exchanged pieces of notepaper with our postal addresses, phone numbers, and ICQ/MSN contact details. I asked her if she was doing anything else that evening. All she said was that she was doing her laundry.

As it was approaching the time a bus would come along. We decided to head to the bus stop. Lisa drove me there. As we were heading there (by then, it was around 7:30 in the evening and dark), we ended up talking more than at any time. This time, it seemed like the conversation was flowing freely. Without the TV, we got on better, and we both agreed that the TV was too much of a distraction and we should have done something besides watch TV. I even told her that I have the habit of feeling shy and uneasy at first, and it takes some time for that to lift. I did however appreciate slowing down the fast pace of my hectic travels and just chilling out for a day and I told her that. She told me she appreciated me coming over and was glad I had faith that she would respond. We waited for the bus to arrive before we parted company. The conversation was flowing all the way through and I found it a pity I had to leave when the bus came.

From some of the things she said, I got the impression she felt bad about me not having had an exciting time. I told her not to worry about it and said I was glad to have met her and would like to see her again.

I mentioned to Lisa that the following weekend, I might be in LA again on my way to San Diego / Tijuana after having visited Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon. Lisa said that if I passed through, she might find the time to fit me in, but had her office party the following Friday. I said that we should get out and about and avoid the TV. Lisa hoped her car would have been fixed so we would be able to go somewhere (hey, LA is huge, unlike the cities of Europe where you can get around by bike/bus). She also said she was coming to the UK in the summer, and she's keen to see me there. I now know it's her e-mail system that's losing the e-mails and I even told her there was a one-year gap that involved me not getting any e-mails from her. She also told me that she was having problems with her kidneys for around five months.

The bus had arrived. As I was about to set of, she suggested I give her a hug and a kiss, which I did, and then got out the car and got on the bus. I left feeling hungry and tired. I had not been fed very well and was starving. It was another hour and a half to the Youth Hostel in Hollywood and I couldn't get any grub until I got off the bus.

It was Comedy night at the Youth Hostel so didn't have time to find anywhere to eat so just got a snack from the snack-machine at the hostel. During the comedy night, I kept getting tired but each time an act ended, I felt compelled to see the next act. I managed to stay till the end (about midnight) and finally headed off to my bed for a well-deserved sleep.

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( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 16:31, Reply)