My friends
My friends have all decided to randomly start going out with one another. Like two of them will randomly go off for a walk in the woods for several hours, come back flustered, then get all angry and embarrassed when someone makes a suggestive comment. Then another few will sit on top of each other kissing all night at a party, but honest there is nothing going on. And my very very best friend has decided that smoking is good because a guy she likes does it.

So yeah, I'm pretty dissapointed because they've kind of dissapeared.

And I need them, I've just had an operation :(


Sorry about the complaining, I just don't see this summer being as all time as we all planned.
(CakeCat, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:49, 3 replies)

!
Get with the program, Chess Club. You've got to be in it to win it.

Here's my suggestion. Wait til your next "field party" and offer round some crack. DON'T TAKE ANY YOURSELF THOUGH (important).

Once they're all hooked you can deal to them, and they'll have to start selling dad's B&O equipment to pay you.

In the mean time work hard and make sure you get the best (GSCE?) results you can. They have to be all A*s for this next bit to work.

When you've got your results make sure you go to university and do something like "Insurance and Investment" or "European banking" or something. Oxford and Cambridge both have good reputations. It doesn't matter that you don't know what it means, you'll get a highly paid job at the end of it and thats what counts.

If you follow this to the letter, you will achieve the following:

You will have loads of crack money coming in while you are getting ahead;
You can find some new, better friends that don't keep playing tops and fingers with each other when you're trying to talk about the meaning of life and whether God may or may not exist;
You will be secretly lining yourself up to be a WINNER in a few years time;
Even if you only do averagely well your parents will still be pleased because in comparison the other people from your school are all crackheads and work in Woolworths, or on an IT helpdesk.

THIS IS YOUR FIVE YEAR PLAN, print it off and stick it on your Letts revision guide where you'll see it. And whatever you do don't get off with sweaty ginger Richard just because he's in the year above.

No need to thank me now, good luck.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:02, closed)

And..
You are,*guess*, 12 or 25?

And I'll bet my right bollock that you're closer to 12.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:17, closed)

Legless
That had better not be an idle threat.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:28, closed)