My first car...

Was an Austin Allegro.

Now, that's bad enough, but the previous owner must've had a sense of humour on a quite biblical scale, because he had sported a massive transfer across the bonnet...

Of a 'firebird'...Oh yes, like a Trans-am...just on an Allegro...

I was 18...

There are no words...
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:39, 9 replies)

*sniggers*
Please God tell me there are no pictures...

*click*
( snee held his breath since, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:53, closed)

Yikes....
The thought of an Austin All-Agro "Firebird" *shudders*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:54, closed)

Sorry, no pictures...

I think the land speed record for the time was broken by my rushing to the garage for a big fuck off tin of black paint to cover the fucker.

Unfortunately, because I am such a lazy git, I didn't actually peel off the transfer, just painted over it, so in the right light you could still make out the shape.

*glows with shame*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:01, closed)

I did worse than that.
I had a 1985 Dodge caravan SE, light blue, rusty, that had managed to misplace its hood ornament at some point. So I replaced the hood ornament with one that I got from my nephew.

It was a Jaguar.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:02, closed)

Donut
I rather large chap from my hometown (with the above moniker) acquired an XR3 and painted a litte 'i' on it.

I'm fairly sure no one was taken in by this creativer writing exercise....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:42, closed)

Chap I went to college with...
...kept banging on and on about how he loved fast cars and his MG Metro (for Americans, we're talking Austin, not Geo).

On and on... "My MG Metro is faster than etc"

The MG Metro turned out to be a China Blue Metro City with MG wheels.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:55, closed)

Chap I went to college with...
...kept banging on and on about how he loved fast cars and his MG Metro (for Americans, we're talking Austin, not Geo).

On and on... "My MG Metro is faster than etc"

The MG Metro turned out to be a China Blue Metro City with MG wheels.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:55, closed)

@PJM
For a while round here, there was a ned who used to drive a Kermit-green Metro.

Every visible part of the car which wasn't glass or rubber was bright green. The wheel trims, wipers and even the aerial.

But it seemed like he'd forgotten to put an engine in. He used to drive in typical ned fashion and one day went to overtake me when we got to a stretch of dual carriageway. I heard a screaming engine from this green apparition crawling its way past me, while I was gently accelerating in third gear and almost keeping up without trying.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:01, closed)

There's a Citroen Saxo round my way...
... with six (count 'em!) exhausts. Or roughly 266cc per exhaust.

Then there's the guy who spent £6k on bodywork and a paint job for his chariot.

A 1994 Hyundai Accent.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 1 Jul 2008, 16:24, closed)