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This is a question DIY disasters

I just can't do power tools. They always fly out of control and end up embedded somewhere they shouldn't. I've no idea how I've still got all the appendages I was born with.

Add to that the fact that nothing ends up square, able to support weight or free of sticking-out sharp bits and you can see why I try to avoid DIY.

Tell us of your own DIY disasters.

(, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 17:19)
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Tree
I suppose this is sort of DIY, well garden tree DIY.

When we moved to Warwickshire we had a house that had an L shaped garden with 7 or 8 good sized trees in it. The house was a newly built one, but we'd had to rent somewhere for a while as the assclown builders had somehow constructed the chimney in such a way that it collapsed just before we moved in.

Anyway, I digress. Something was wrong with one of the trees in the garden, it had some disease and was slowly shuffling off to Arboreal Heaven. The dad of my sisters friend was a tree surgeon and told us that it needed to be taken down (it was maybe 30ft high) and that he'd do it for a reasonable price.

My dad, terminally disinclined to spend money, decides to do it himself. This is a man who is to this day totally incapable of changing a lightbulb, and gets his 91 year old mother to iron his shirts.

One hot summers day (I was 10 or 11) he's out in the garden trying to start a small chainsaw he'd 'found' in a skip down the road. Weirdly it doesn't work so he takes an axe to the tree. Several hours of profuse sweating, swearing, smoking and drinking of coffee later he's finally got it to the point where its ready to come down.

The Old Man readies himself for the final push, heaves, veins bulging, language that would make a Catholic brothel keeper blush escaping in between puffs on a Silk Cut. The tree creaks, wobbles, and slowly falls... crushing a section of the fence. The Old Man is not best pleased by this, but hey at least its down. He leans (heavily, he's not a small fella) against another tree behind him... which shifts under the weight and starts to slowly fall over smacking hard into the relatively newly laid turf.

Silly father had cut down a totally healthy tree... and then lent heavily on the diseased one.
(, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 20:25, 3 replies)
oops

(, Fri 4 Apr 2008, 4:10, closed)
Funniest story
So far. Kerr-lick!
(, Fri 4 Apr 2008, 13:24, closed)
that. is. brilliant!
hahahahahahahhahaa *click*
(, Fri 4 Apr 2008, 15:07, closed)

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