Sounds worryingly familiar...
My two greatest cooking disasters both involved cakes (in the loosest sense of the word) and studentdom. The first involved an approximation of ingredients, though I think I did have sugar (no eggs though). My fatal flaw was in the choice of cake tin - I didn't have one. The closest thing I had was an aluminium camping pan-like thing which, according to the man in the army surplus store who sold it to me for 50p, had originally been the casing from a landmine. As it didn't have a non-stick coating, I reasoned that greaseproof paper would be a good idea, though had to make do with tinfoil - they both come on rolls, how different can they be?

Anyway, I grew tired of picking the tiny scraps of tinfoil from the resulting 'sponge', and as it had the density of uranium I binned it with a satisfying *thunk*.

Not having learnt from my first attempt I did try baking again a year later - this time it was a packet sponge mix, so I just had to add the wet stuff and bake. I even followed the instructions and measured stuff (roughly), but the resulting biscuit looked pretty inedible. As I lived in a rather nice flat overlooking the harbour I chucked it off the balcony into the water, so the seagulls could enjoy it once the water had softened it a bit. They took a quick look, and decided that their usual diet of binbag contents and student vomit was much more appealing - I think the cake bobbed around for two or three days before finally sinking.
(Photon wasting your time since, Sat 5 Apr 2008, 2:12, Reply)