Rubble - a DIY rememberance
My Dad was a bit of a quiet achiever, not really making any fuss about building a whole extension on our house, installing a swimming pool, all the things I used to take for granted that Dads just did. He died on Wednesday, of old age and complications related to emphysema.
I'm currently at home avoiding writing the eulogy I will be delivering at his funeral on Tuesday, pondering those bits of my history with him, and not finding a lot. Because, to be honest, he was an absent sort of guy - even when he was there, which was more than many dads, being a teacher. Until I looked at b3ta and the qotw. Now, I have remembered my very first DIY ever.

The extension I mentioned above happened when I was around 5 or 6 years old, dad used his long service leave to do the job. Part of the job was of course to level the area inside the footings so we wouldn't have to build a floor around a bunch of boulders which would then stick up into our new lounge room floor. So dad showed me how to break rocks. The area we lived in was a big sandstone plateau, so it's not like we're talking basalt or granite or anything. I really wanted to help - to be a part of the team. So dad gave me a boulder of my own to reduce to unboulderness, and the use of a 3- and a 5-pound hammer, because I couldn't even really lift the big sledge hammer dad was using. In my memory this rock was quite rounded, and came halfway up my thigh. E.Normous. I worked on it diligently, for days and maybe weeks as dad did his bit, and moved on to the footings and so forth around me. He never criticised, or offered help, or even asked how I was going - he just looked from time to time, and like me would have noticed the thing getting smaller and smaller. I remember the moment of completion, the previously huge monotlith had been chipped down and chipped down and eventually the last remaining lump about the size of 2 footballs just - split, and i was able to just smash it all into little pieces all in one sitting. I took in a bit of the rubble to show dad. I can see him smiling his simple, pleased smile. He just said "Good job dadadali. Next year we're going to put in a bigger pool - with a deck. You can help if you want".

DIY child rearing. That's it. In so many ways he just gave the job of growing up right back to me. I used to have resentments about his absence, his aloofness, his emotional distance...but now I see the good bits; that in so many ways I was just free to be. His job was just to provide the opportunities. Which he did. Now, I'm a DIY grown-up.

Apologies for length, and thanks for listening to my story about rubble.
(dadadali has hybrid vigour, Sat 5 Apr 2008, 10:39, 5 replies)

Sorry for your loss
.
hold on to the good times.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Sat 5 Apr 2008, 11:02, closed)

a DIY rememberance
I'm very sorry about your Dad. Hope you're feeling ok. It sounds like you will be able to give a wonderful eulogy, which I think is a sign your Dad did an ok job.
(ComplexStuff Was confused by life on, Sat 5 Apr 2008, 13:50, closed)

Sorry for your loss.
I had a similar job to do over the new year period. It's not nice.

Take care.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 5 Apr 2008, 16:36, closed)

Sounds like you've already written a great eulogy
as your QOTW answer.

I am sorry for your loss.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Sat 5 Apr 2008, 18:17, closed)

Sorry for your loss
... but that's a lovely story - you should use it
(Chevron71 is oscillating wildly...., Sat 5 Apr 2008, 22:25, closed)