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This is a question DIY disasters

I just can't do power tools. They always fly out of control and end up embedded somewhere they shouldn't. I've no idea how I've still got all the appendages I was born with.

Add to that the fact that nothing ends up square, able to support weight or free of sticking-out sharp bits and you can see why I try to avoid DIY.

Tell us of your own DIY disasters.

(, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 17:19)
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DIY
Well, not mine - I've always been pretty handy, but my mate Richard...

He's a 40 year old solicitor. Very good at his job, earns an obscene amount (his wife earns more)and he has a flat in Baker Street (posh area of London to non-Brits). He's completely useless at the simplest tasks e.g. putting together a tv stand that comprised only 3 pieces and some screws was an impossibility for him, and after less than one minute of holding pieces at different angles, reversing them etc, the pieces were hurled at the wall accompanied by large amounts of swearing. His best was trying to fit an air conditioner.

Two years ago it was a very hot summer, so he bought an air-con. He lives in a listed building, so is not allowed to make a hole in the wall for the exhaust, plus the windows are sealed units. I was initially impressed when he told me that he had looked on the internet (him being a technophobe) and found a site that said a disused chimney could be used as an outlet for the hot exhaust air, but this soon waned as he related the rest of his story.

He said that he realised there might be some soot in the flue when he removed the wooden plate blanking it off, so had placed a tea towel "the size of a woman's handkerchief" on the carpet directly below. Also, since it was so hot, he had removed all of his clothes.

I'm sure you can picture the scene, as he vividly described it, when he removed the wooden cover and several sacks-worth of soot deposited themselves onto him. It took him 2 hours to clean up...and then comes the best bit: "well" he thinks "there can't be any more soot left up there, so I may as well carry on". So after inserting the exhaust hose up the chimney he switched on the air conditioner. This time the soot - assisted by the pressure of the exhaust - took about 4 hours to clean up. As an added bonus, a chimney sweep called at his neighbours flat the next day, so ther must have been a bit of a blowback for them too.

Length - yeah, overly long, but I can't be arsed.
(, Tue 8 Apr 2008, 19:55, 2 replies)
aye
aye
(, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 0:39, closed)
"Earns".................
I like the story! Right up until the concept of a solicitor "earning" money.
Reminds me of the tale of Peter Carter-Ruck being led through the pearly gates to a triumphant ticker-tape parade in his honour.
God himself was there to shake him by the hand exclaiming "It's a pleasure to meet the oldest human"!
P C-R replies "Errrm what do you mean the oldest human"?

God replies "I know that you died in your sixties, but according to the hours you billed, you're 477 years old!"

Coat.
(, Wed 9 Apr 2008, 13:52, closed)

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