A quick check reveals that...
this was done in the first two hours and has the benefit of being funnier and cleverer than yours.

www.b3ta.com/questions/dodgyworkethics/post1270123

And the reason you haven't found any other Essex punchlines is that everyone else has realised that it is a shitty obvious joke. You alone appear not to have done. So congratulations on being shitter than every other B3tan. That's really an impressive feat.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 9:34, 1 reply)

And he bums dogs.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 9:52, closed)

Well, yes, that too.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 9:52, closed)

I can't believe you'd suggest that he bums dogs.
Do you have any evidence that he bums dogs? Because that's the sort of scurrilous dog-bumming rumour that has ruined the internet experience for honest, decent dog bummers.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 10:12, closed)

Of course i have evidence.
Any experienced dog bummer knows the lingo. I can't believe you are talking about dog bumming and don't even know what a 'fleet of bakery vans' is code for.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 10:17, closed)

I'm more of a horse licker.
They make an incredibly satistfying slappy slurp noise when you get them proper worked up.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 10:20, closed)