OK, here it comes - the one about driving
In no particular order, apart from the first one which is THE most dangerous:

-Tailgating. Even if intimidating people like an utter cunt did work, how can driving closer to the car in front make it go faster for you WHEN IT HAS NOWHERE ELSE TO GO?? Funnily enough it isn't generally possible to drive over the car in front, unless you're in a tank. Shooting's too good for'em, guv.
- Lane hogs. The inside lane is nearly always empty. Use it. You may even go faster than the queue of 40 Audis nose to tail in lane 3.
- Indicators are called that for a reason - to INDICATE IN ADVANCE to others what you are about to do.
- If you must pull out in front of me even though there is no traffic behind me and waiting 10 seconds longer would mean you had all the time in the world to do so, for fuck's sake GET A BLOODY MOVE ON. If I have to brake, you should not have pulled out.
- Get that phone away from your ear! All modern phones have a speakerphone. Use it.
- If your music is audible at a distance of more than 10 yards from the car, you should have to pay PRS/public performance/licensing fees just like any other concert.
- Sorry, but putting a fat exhaust on a 4 cylinder car will never make it sound like a V8.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 8:43, 13 replies)

Indicators
They either don't use them because they may wear them out, but I'm coming to believe that they're optional extras that they haven't had fitted.
You forgot the twats that like to drive on full beam.
(Captain Spacker I lick windows, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:02, closed)

i drive a volvo estate
(i bought it for 500 quid and its great, but thats a different story) the main thing is, upon purchase of a swedish estate you are allowed and required to drive in the middle lane of a three lane motorway AT ALL TIMES.
(magictorch, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:16, closed)

I bet it explodes if you go over 65mph
Or takes you back to 1985
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:18, closed)

its in suprisingly good nick
(tempts the gods)

but the flux capactiotr doesnt work along with the air con, the up movement on the electric mirrors and all but one of the speakers.
(magictorch, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:20, closed)

I drive a £500 Saab.
According to my Saab owning colleague, I'm going to be receiving an angry letter from the owners club about my driving style.*


*I don't drive like a total cunt, but I'm completely unwilling to be intimidated by other vehicles, to the point I'll happily teach a twat in a 30 grand audi a lesson in both 'right of way' and ke=mv^2
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:25, closed)

my dented 1996 volvo
v your new 12 plate.

didnt think so.
(magictorch, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:54, closed)

Don't see very many full beamers tbh
but do see a lot who don't seem to know that fog lights are only for when it is foggy + visibility is under 100m. Not if it's just raining a bit.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 9:17, closed)

There should be a law
Where you're allowed to stop and drag the occupant out of a car that's got only their sidelights and all fog lights on. Then you can question them as to why they think fog lights with a range of around 20 feet are better for driving in than the headlights designed for the job.

Every car I've had, without exception, had very little use for front fog lights except where it was really bloody foggy. Try driving at night with just them on and you may as well close your eyes.
(BlondeBombshell Small but perfectly formed., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:11, closed)

they don't seem to understand that
their fog lights are actually brighter than their brake lights.

Which of course is, um, potentially dangerous.
(username failed moderation, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 11:55, closed)

They may be idiots...
But at least they have some lights on in the rain.

Idiots in car parks who think other cars are only there to stop their door swinging any wider. I quite prefer my door undented and without your paint highlights.
(SwampyBob, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 21:21, closed)

I have noticed in many cases its not the full beam that blinds me but the fact that im in a civic low to the ground and the oncomer is in some mercedes 4x4 with xenon lamps. this means I am blinded regardless of fullbeam.
(tyrellsOwl, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 10:49, closed)

Cunts that don't dip their high beams
as you both come around the corner/over the hill on a dark, unlit country road.

I'll blind you back you motherfuckers!
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:17, closed)

I'm gernerally in agreement with you
except for often the left hand lane on a (UK) motorway has been ground into a horrible rutted mess by the thousands of heavy trucks that bimble up and down it 24 hours per day.

It's uncomfortable in a car, on a motorbike it's quite dangerous.

So on particularly bad stretches, you'll often find me apparently needlesly in the middle lane.
(username failed moderation, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 10:51, closed)