Drunken Purchase Ended Up Costing Me £100 More
Right, a year back I went to the fabulous bournemouth and had a massive binging lads weekend, saturday night our final night on the lash before we went home on the megabus on sunday I decided to go all out.

And when I say all out, I mean all out. 13 Pints of Lager and what must have been 16 shots of crap vodka mix things and as I only weigh 11 Stone needless to say I was fucking ill, I proceeded to walk back to our dump of an apartment on my own, sloshed out of my box and pass out behind the sofa.

When I wake up at 3am, ive gone from "nearly dead drunk" stage to just "rat-assed pissed". So me and my mate neck some absynth and decide it would be an excellent time to visit the local kebab man. Naked.

So we run down the road with our clothes in our bags and run into the kebabsy we purchase a mixed donner and to bide the time we do some star jumps to the amusement of everyone assembled in the shop the kebab bloke in a lovely accent of his finds it all funny, my mate decides that being bored of waiting for a kebab he had paid £7 for so he throws a football at the kebab blokes head and you just hear the biggest clatter and dirty kebab flying all over the shop, awesome. So we run for out lives out of the shop and a police van pulls up, they get out and chase us. At that stage I was quite fit so I could run miles, but then the dogs came out and started chasing me and not wanting my bollocks bitten off I decided to give it up while my mate runs and gets taken down in spectacular fashion by a hungry dog. Yum.

So me and my mate ended up paying £107 for a kebab we never ate + fines and ended up with a nice assault and criminal damage on our record.

Oh well gets wiped in 5 months, we were only 16 at the time.

Length & Girth, Your Mum Fucking Loves It The Slag
(loopadoop loves toilets, Mon 13 Jun 2005, 19:08, Reply)