Who throws a shoe!?
Both of my parents are middle class alcoholics. I'm now in my twenties and live 50 odd miles away from them, but I still hear regular tales of woe from my little sister, aged 20, who still lives there.
Instead of being all mopey and depressive over all the horrific things which have happened - of which there are many - I shall highlight my favourite tale of recent months. The shoe.
There have been a lot of recent arguements, but the one which had me in fits of laughter over how incredibly pathetic and amusing it was, was this one. My sister had told me about an arguement the parents were having, over something or other, late into the night, fuelled by countless units of alcohol. Usually along the lines of calling my sister a little slut, or of me going to die, or dad selling the house.
The main rule of the parent arguement is that no matter how ridiculous or sane the other's point or stance is, you must disagree and defend your opinion to the death. Even if you both have the same opinion. The louder you scream at eachother, the more you must be winning. Whoever throws the first item, wins. Usually this is glass, plates, etc. But in this scenario my mother obviously had nothing to hand. So she did what any quick thinking drunk would do. Took off her shoe and lobbed it at my dad, who came out with the classic Autin Powers line of 'Seriously, who throws a shoe!?' I still cannot shift this mental scene from my head of that happening... all hope lost and my mum whips off a shoe and chucks it, then goes off sulking. Smooth.
( Bathory, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 8:46, Reply)