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This is a question Drunk Parents

Watching the old man swing home from the pub and start arguing with Newsnight can be either funny, slightly unnerving or just plain terrifying. Tell us about daft things parents have done while they've been in their cups.

Suggested by NotDavidBailey, voted for by YOU

(, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 17:58)
Pages: Popular, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

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Back in the mid
1980s my grandfather had an allotment in a village outside Derby, and an arrangement with a local farmer to get cheap horse manure to use as fertilizer. One Friday when I was 4 or 5 my grandfather called up my old man and asked if we'd like to come down from York (where we lived at the time) and help him do some work on his allotment. Sure enough, Saturday morning we drive to Derby early, and whilst I'm engrossed in helping my grandma make chips with a potato cutter, my father and grandfather toddle off to the farmers with a barrow to pick up a load of shit for the allotment.

Hours pass. My mother and grandmother are wondering where they've got to, and decide to check the local pub. We walk up there, to find my very drunk father, my very drunk grandfather, and a very drunk friend of my grandfathers being hosed off in the carpark by the landlord.

Apparently my dad and my grandfather had picked up the shit from the farm and had been wheeling it back to the allotments (which was next to the pub). On the way they'd met an old Navy friend of my grandfather's, who suggested a break for light refreshment in the pub. They'd sat outside, barrow of shit at their table, and sank 'several' pints when for some reason an argument erupted. My grandfather, being a reasonable fellow, had dipped his hand into the squishy barrow of horse poop and thrown a wet clod directly into my fathers face. My father then responded by throwing shit back at him. This then degenerated into some sort of three way shit flinging competition, with my relations, and my grandfathers friend, jumping around like drunken chimps, flinging faeces at each other until the landlord came out with a hosepipe and separated them.

My grandma made them both sleep in the conservatory that night.
(, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 14:00, 7 replies)
Fuck ...
(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 3:32, closed)
It answers the question properly, it's amusing, and it's not a group therapy session. More of this sort of thing.
(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:14, closed)

(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 16:28, closed)
Imma click this too.

(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 20:23, closed)
although I still prefer the accidental horse
(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 20:47, closed)
is always a vote winner.
(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 20:53, closed)
The only reason I voted for Cameron was because I thought Osborne was his chimpanzee fuckbuddy.

(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 21:01, closed)

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