Not me, but
I was once at a not atypical teenage party at a friend's house. They'd just had a new fence built at the bottom of the garden, and since they were having an extension built at the time, there were lots of tools left lying around.

The party proceeded. I got drunk, got off with a larger lady, was sick, went to sleep, all by about midnight. Oh, how original, you remark, rolling your eyes. Well, this isn't about me, remember.

During this time, a compatriot of mine had also hit the booze hard, so hard, in fact, he thought it was time to do something spectacular.

I awoke at four in the morning to hear a loud mechanical buzzing and some girls screaming in the distance. Oh dear, I think, time for round two of the vomit game, and I shuffle off to the loo. Where, having finished, I fall asleep again.

It was not until the next morning when I discovered the cause of those bizarre noises. My friend had, whilst completely and utterly trollied, thought it would be a superb idea, not to mention make him extremely attractive, to cut down the hosts brand new fence with a big-fucking-chainsaw the builders had carelessly left lying around. I hadn't witnessed it, but apparently he was swinging it round like rock stars do their microphones. Hence the screaming, understandably.

He then, by all accounts (he claims not to be able to remember) ran off into the night, hooting.

He was found the next morning in a nearby telephone box, still really very drunk, where he had apparently spent the rest of the night 'talking to the operator'.

He has never been allowed back in that house again, and obviously had to pay for the fence. I still haven't decided whether it's the best or worst thing he's ever done.
(WarneMarsh My priority for frivolity begets quality jollity, Fri 21 Dec 2007, 18:07, Reply)