It doesn’t matter how you dump someone. The thoughtless dump by text message gives the dumpee something to focus on, other than the fact that you don’t think they’re good enough to be in your life anymore. I dumped my first girlfriend by visiting her at work and slipping a tenner in her g-string with the words “I’m not sure this is working for me” written on it.

If I ever dump The Lovely Mrs Ring of Fire, I’ll feed the dog a length of plastic tape with the message written on it, so it’ll emerge from the animals arse like an old fashioned news ticker.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 16:28, 4 replies)

We have a winner
But only if you leave frozen shrimps inside her shower curtain
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 20:32, closed)

All good ideas, apart from,
I'm not dumping the lovely mrs ring of fire
We don't have a shower curtain
Or a dog, though I could borrow Vagabond's probably.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 22:41, closed)

Then simply sew
the shrimps into the hem of her curtains
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 20:24, closed)

curtains knickers
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 14:56, closed)