I went out with a girl from Sunderland once...
...she wasn't actually from Sunderland, but she was going to University there.

As long-distance relationships sometimes do, it all went tits up and I phoned her to tell her it was all over. She was remarkably sanguine about it all, even going so far as to say "Well yeah, I'm a bit disappointed, but I'm not going to let it ruin my life or my degree, so don't worry it's all cool". This from someone who two days previously had been telling me how I was the first person she'd ever loved and how good our life together was going to be once she'd finished Uni.

Anyway, that all went far more easily than I expected so, mightily relieved, I went out for a few beers. The following morning I had a text:

"Ah man, I had a really weird dream last night, that you broke up with me, lol wtf? Hahahaha, love you xxx" (Or words to that effect)

So then I had to ring her and explain that yes, actually I *had* broken up with her and it wasn't a dream. Cue ten minutes of crying, wailing, pleading, recriminations and all the stuff I'd been expecting when I first made the call...
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 23:41, 4 replies)

Did she phone you back the next day
to say "ahahaha ... I had another really weird dream yesterday ..."

Because you should totally get Bill Murray to play you in the Hollywood version of that.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 8:43, closed)

Bill fuckin' Murray!
Sorry.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 4 Jan 2013, 9:24, closed)

sometimes you find that a kick to the kerb was totally justified
very quickly after the aforementioned kicking to the kerb.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 8 Jan 2013, 20:09, closed)

I had to think about that for a minute...
...but now that I've thought about it I thoroughly agree :)
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 21:26, closed)