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This is a question Easiest Job Ever

Dazbrilliantwhites says he spent five years working at an airport where he spent his days "racing down multi-storey car parks in wheelchairs and then using the lift to go back to the top". Tell us about your best and easiest jobs. Students: Make something up.

(, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 12:14)
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Bubble wrap, bats & rugby
Two jobs ago (between 1998 and 2003, for that is when I was employed at now-folded company as slave labour) I had to deal with warehouse staff. 

It being a warehouse there was a forklift truck (electric motor - this is important), plenty of empty cardboard boxes, expanding foam and racking two storeys tall. 

The warehouse staff would regularly scramble to the top of the rack and launch themselves off into assorted cardboard boxes which was very funny (I am easily pleased).

One Hallowe'en a rubber glove was filled with expanding foam, given to me to decorate realistically (I failed art GCSE don'tchoo know?) then throughout October it was planted around the building with the aim of causing as many heart attacks as possible. (I am not posting from jail on a manslaughter charge.)

Sheets of large bubble wrap were strewn carefully across the warehouse floor then driven across by the near-silent forklift truck at the most opportune moment with the aim of scaring colleagues, couriers and customers. (See above re manslaughter.)

My next job after that wasn't filled with immediately obvious prank equipment but my, we had some fun dodging the office bat. 

Yes, bat. 

The office was a converted barn with a resident bat who would happily strafe our desks while being chased by my barmy Italian manager. The little shit shat all over my paperwork one afternoon. The bat that is, not the Italian. 

That job also saw me forced to take advantage of a spare, free debenture ticket for the opening 6 Nations match in 2004, Wales v Scotland in Cardiff. Driven there in company Audi, slap-up Chinese dinner, excellent seats and game (Wales won and I'm part Welsh so was really chuffed), and perhaps best of all because the Audi's owner was slightly squiffy, I got to thrash the car back to Southampton on clear roads. Vroooom!

Apologies for length. My current employers blocked the site and it took me an age to get me back into QOTWing via the judicious use of my iphone. 
(, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 21:03, 2 replies)
Kudos for getting "shit shat" into a coherent sentence

(, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:41, closed)
Kind sir/madam*.

*delete as applicable.
(, Sat 11 Sep 2010, 1:06, closed)

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