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This is a question Eccentrics

We all know someone who's a little bit strange - Mum's UFO abduction secret, or the mad Uncle who isn't allowed within 400 yards of Noel Edmonds.

Tell us about your family eccentrics, or just those you've met but don't think you're related to.

(Suggested by sugar_tits)

(, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 19:08)
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My old technology teacher
I went to a private boys' school. There were many weird and wonderful teachers whom I encountered during my seven years there, but there is one I shall always remember before the rest. I shall call him Mr H.

Mr H - an almost completely bald man in his 40s - took Technology classes. For those who did not have such subjects at school, this was basically D.I.Y, with some electronics introduced in later years. All boys were required to sit on stools placed around workbenches, while wearing white aprons, and to have their plastic safety goggles close at hand while Mr H instructed us in the finer points of sawing wood, etc.

Looking back now, it's hard to see how Mr H got away with behaving the way he did: but when we were 11, we just took it all in our strides. Let me try to begin to paint a picture.

Mr H would never refer to any boy by his name. When wanting to quiz students, he would whirl round and point his finger, and ask "That boy there". Most of the time, everyone was That Boy There. The rest of the time, they were "Percy Scroggins". This was his generic name for people, as an alternative to "Fred Bloggs", for example. He referred to his pointing finger as "The Flying Fickle Finger of Fate".

If the hapless boy could not answer the question, he would be labelled a "thickie doughnut". This is a phrase which Mr H would use 10-15 times per lesson, and every pupil was very familiar with it.

Mr H constantly alluded to punishment for misdemeanours. His favourite form of mock-justice would be to tell a boy to "have a Saturday" - referring to a Saturday detention. If he were in a slightly saucy mood - which he was all the time - he would tell a boy to "go and have a cold shower at LEH" (LEH being the name of the nearby girls' school). As the boy in question would hesitate in the face of the inappropriate line, Mr H would add: "You can keep your socks on if you're shy!"

The room in which Technology was taught was festooned with workshop machinery: pillar drills, vices, band saws, lathes etc. Mr H would never refer to any of these by name however. Every single one of them was an "Oscillating Swivel Gromit".

Oh yes - and he drove a hearse.

Good times!
(, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 21:46, 5 replies)
You went
to Hampton School and I claim my $5.

But do you remember the IT teacher who used to "cuddle" you when explaining how to code....
(, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 22:01, closed)
Well done.
I was wondering if anyone would be able to work it out from the "LEH" - but it sounds like you actually went there yourself too.

As for your IT teacher, no.. it must have been after my time. I left just as IT was becoming a school subject in itself.

Do you have personal experience of H?
(, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 22:20, closed)
I was there
from 1980 - 1983. They didn't teach IT then, but they had an IT suite consisting of PDP/11 machines (or could have been PDP/8s, I forget...) running CP/M. The teacher in question was known as "Minty" - ring any bells ?

Can't say I recognise the teacher you mentioned though...
(, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 22:44, closed)
Love the last line.
"Oh yes - and he drove a hearse" :-D
(, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 17:25, closed)
Flying Fickle...
At the risk of stating the obvious, Mr. H got that from the old 60s US show, "Laugh-In." The Flying Fickle Finger of Fate" was a regular feature--an actual statue with a pointing finger, but just the index one--usually to some jerk who had made the news.
(, Sun 2 Nov 2008, 17:57, closed)

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